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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v.41

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v. 41
Nowadays, tourism in uninhabited areas is growing by leaps and bound. In addition, younger generation prefers holidays in destinations like Antarctica or deserts over cliché destinations of Europe. This essay will provide a detailed explanation in the following paragraphs on the merits and demerits of visiting these secluded areas. The main advantage when masses explore these unpopular destinations is they get enlightened with the beauty of nature around them. Moreover, when individuals visit these locations, they are also acquainted with adverse effect climate changes can cause to their surroundings. For instance, people have started cleaning water bodies like lakes in their neighbourhood. A Japanese scientist has found a chemical solution to clean polluted lakes and has cleaned a whole lake in his regional area as proof. As a result, tourism in these abandoned areas has made people realised the value of edible water. There are a couple of demerits for tourist who explore locations with no human population. Firstly, the temperature is increasing with the heat generated by humans through fire pollution or through transportation. Secondly, the food of wildlife is being affected as humans hunt the same food for feeding themselves when visiting these habitats. To illustrate, human fishing is reducing the count of fishes for penguins and seals as well as it is also observed humans are hunting seals and penguins for their survival. Therefore, expansion of tourism would lead to extinction of wildlife in these areas as well as disturbing the overall food chain which would later affect the same tourist exploring these areas. To conclude, biodiversity can only be preserved when people are familiarised with the difficulties they will face when vegetation goes extinct. Thus, the United Nations should have strict regulations for tourists exploring no human zone places.
Nowadays, tourism in uninhabited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is growing by leaps and bound.
In addition
, younger generation prefers holidays in destinations like Antarctica or deserts over cliché destinations of Europe. This essay will provide a detailed explanation in the following paragraphs on the merits and demerits of visiting these secluded areas.

The main advantage when masses explore these unpopular destinations is they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enlightened with the beauty of nature around them.
Moreover
, when individuals visit these locations, they are
also
acquainted with adverse effect climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can cause to their surroundings.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
cleaning water bodies like lakes in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. A Japanese scientist has found a chemical solution to clean polluted lakes and has cleaned a whole lake in his regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
as proof.
As a result
, tourism in these abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
the value of edible water.

There are a couple of demerits for tourist who explore locations with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population.
Firstly
, the temperature is increasing with the heat generated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
through fire pollution or through transportation.
Secondly
, the food of wildlife is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
hunt the same food for feeding themselves when visiting these habitats. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
fishing is reducing the count of fishes for penguins and seals
as well
as it is
also
observed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are hunting seals and penguins for their survival.
Therefore
, expansion of tourism would lead to extinction of wildlife in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as well
as disturbing the
overall
food chain which would later affect the same tourist exploring these areas.

To conclude
, biodiversity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be preserved
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'familiarised' is British English.
familiarised
with the difficulties they will face when vegetation goes extinct.
Thus
, the United Nations should have strict regulations for tourists exploring no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
zone places.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v. 41

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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