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Nowadays it seems that people tend to wastea great amount of foodWhy do you think it is happening? How can we solve this problem v.1

Nowadays it seems that people tend to wastea great amount of foodWhy do you think it is happening? How can we solve this problem v. 1
Children are expected to obey different rules either at home or at school. Strict discipline is sometimes important, but I would argue that it would have an adverse impact on children’s problem-solving abilities. Some people are strong advocates of imposing rules because rules can hold children accountable for their behaviour and help them develop good behaviour patterns from a young age. Unlike adults, children are normally not aware of the consequences of bad behaviour, and setting rules can help them realise how to behave in a socially acceptable way. For example, they can learn how to greet others, make polite requests and show table manners, if they are required by adults to do so. In addition, some rules can also forbid inappropriate behaviours, such as bullying, using profanity, cheating in exams and interrupting teachers during a lesson. Opponents, however, argue that the rules can limit the development of problem-solving skills, if those parents who establish these strict rules give priority to children’s obedience. Children will rely heavily on rules and may not be able to solve problems independently. For instance, some rules may dictate what children should do every day, but when they enter the workforce, they may not know how to manage time without the instructions of their parents and cope with the demands of work themselves. They are unlikely to achieve success in their careers. In my view, strict rules can stifle children’s creativity and they are not able to solve problems in different ways. They dare not put their ideas into practice, since they are afraid of being punished if they disobey the rules. Some teachers, for example, require students to abide by strict essay writing rules, and the consequence is that children will not know the outcome of expressing their ideas in other ways. Some problems in the real world are complex and they cannot be tackled without using imagination.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to obey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
either at home or at school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Strict
discipline is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would argue that it would have an adverse impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
problem-solving abilities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are strong advocates of imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accountable for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
patterns from a young age. Unlike adults,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
normally
not aware of the consequences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
how to behave in a
socially
acceptable way.
For example
, they can learn how to greet others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
polite requests and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
table manners, if they
are required
by adults to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can
also
forbid inappropriate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, such as bullying, using profanity, cheating in exams and interrupting teachers during a lesson.

Opponents,
however
, argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can limit the development of problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, if those parents who establish these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
obedience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will rely
heavily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and may not be able to solve problems
independently
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
may dictate what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should do every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they enter the workforce, they may not know how to manage time without the instructions of their parents and cope with the demands of work themselves. They are unlikely to achieve success in their careers.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can stifle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creativity and
they are not able to solve problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. They dare not put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
into practice, since they are afraid of
being punished
if they disobey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
teachers,
for example
, require students to abide by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
essay writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, and the consequence is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not know the outcome of expressing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in other ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
problems in the real world are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
complex and
they cannot
be tackled
without using imagination.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays it seems that people tend to wastea great amount of foodWhy do you think it is happening? How can we solve this problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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