Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people thinh that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are play in teams, like football, while other people thinh that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people thinh that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are play in teams, like football, while other people thinh that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming is better. 1
it is agued that playing team sport provides people with more benefits and wonderful experience. I have to admit that this perspective is accurate to a somewhat extent, I still hold a notion that playing individual sport is much more advantageous. On the one hand, there are myriad obvious benefits of team sports such as football, basketball or volleyball. First of all, these provides golden opportunities for players developing theirs soft skills like teamwork and communication skills which not only help players in their daily social interaction but also lead in tranquil with co-workers. Second, team sports bring people the chance to improve a sence of unity, friendship and sportmanship between teammates. In particular, entering competition together makes players closer and brings unforgetable experiences in life. On the other hand, others who are in favours of playing individual sports like tennis, swimming or badminton have their own justifications. As a matter of fact, individual practices make people feel more competition and motivation. this is to say, many people feel exciting and interesting when they cope with their opponent and deal their problems independently. Apart from this, individual sports give them more opportunities to enhance their personal skills such as being able to manage emotions, face with pressures and build confidence. To specify, taking part in individual sports provide player chance in order to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal best. Last but not least, individual sports are suitable for hectic schedule people who no longer need to spend time and effort for gathering other or introvert person. To recapitulate, I am strongly convinced that despite the grate benefits of playing team sport, player ought to attend individual sport. Simultaneously, it would be more prudent for them to combine both types in order to attain the best results.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
agued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more benefits and wonderful experience. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that this perspective is accurate to a
You used an adverb ('somewhat') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('extent') instead of another adjective.
somewhat extent
, I
still
hold a notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is much more advantageous.

On the one hand, there are myriad obvious benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as football, basketball or volleyball.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
The verb 'provides' is singular. Did you mean: "This provides" or "these provide"?
these provides
golden opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
developing theirs soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like teamwork and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in their daily social interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead in tranquil with co-workers. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of unity, friendship and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportmanship
between teammates.
In particular
, entering competition together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
closer and brings
Possible spelling mistake found.
unforgetable
experiences in life.

On the other hand
, others who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like tennis, swimming or badminton have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
justifications. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
practices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more competition and motivation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel exciting and interesting when they cope with their opponent and deal their problems
independently
. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
give them more opportunities to enhance their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as being able to manage emotions, face with pressures and build confidence. To specify, taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
chance in order to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal best. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are suitable for hectic schedule
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who no longer need to spend time and effort for gathering other or introvert person.

To recapitulate, I am
strongly
convinced that despite the grate benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
ought to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Simultaneously
, it would be more prudent for them to combine both types in order to attain the best results.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people thinh that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are play in teams, like football, while other people thinh that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming is better. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts