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some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time to do other things. Do the advantage outweighs disadvantage v.1

some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time to do other things. Do the advantage outweighs disadvantage v. 1
These days, many people have a tendency to choose momentary occupations that make them have more spare times to do other works. Despite some obvious drawbacks of this trend, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are major downsides when individuals take short-lived professions. Primarily, a temporary employee will not have a stable income and may be fired at any time by employers. It might be also said that they will not get annual salary increments, perks or financial rewards such as bonuses or incentives that permanent staff get. For example, if pregnant women take a long-term job, they can be entailed to receive paid maternity leave for around 20 weeks. In addition, they will be less chance to achieve career progression and job prospects that are a basic incentive to motivate employees work efficiently. As a result, workers can find no allure of putting a lot of energy and enthusiasm to have their task done and this likely to have adverse effects on both themselves and the company where they work. On the other hand, I side with those who believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. Firstly, momentary jobs bring people more flexible times in a term of work schedule. That means they can make more time for their loved ones as well as social values such as charity works. For instance, apart from being an English teaching assistant, I am also a volunteer in a Hanoi tour guide organization in which I can help foreign tourists broaden their knowledge about Vietnamese cultures and customs. Moreover, by doing temporary jobs, workers can also get exposure to different kinds of workplace and personalities. This can help them gain their working experiences and adaptive abilities to a new environment. In conclusion, I would argue that although there are disadvantages of part-time jobs, I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks.
These days,
many
people
have a tendency to choose momentary occupations that
make
them have more spare
times
to do other works. Despite
some
obvious drawbacks of this trend, I would argue that these
are outweighed
by the advantages.

On the one hand, there are major downsides when individuals take short-
lived
professions.
Primarily
, a temporary employee will not have a stable income and may
be fired
at any
time
by employers. It might be
also
said that they will not
get
annual salary increments, perks or financial rewards such as bonuses or incentives that permanent staff
get
.
For example
, if pregnant women take a long-term
job
, they can
be entailed
to receive paid maternity
leave
for around 20 weeks.
In addition
, they will be less chance to achieve career progression and
job
prospects that are a basic incentive to motivate employees
work
efficiently
.
As a result
, workers can find no allure of putting
a lot of
energy and enthusiasm to have their task done and this likely to have adverse effects on both themselves and the
company
where they work.

On the other hand
, I side with those who believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages.
Firstly
, momentary
jobs
bring
people
more flexible
times
in a term of
work
schedule. That means they can
make
more
time
for their
loved
ones
as well
as social values such as charity works.
For instance
, apart from being an English teaching assistant, I am
also
a volunteer in a Hanoi tour guide organization in which I can
help
foreign tourists broaden their knowledge about Vietnamese cultures and customs.
Moreover
, by doing temporary
jobs
, workers can
also
get
exposure to
different
kinds of workplace and personalities. This can
help
them gain their working experiences and adaptive abilities to a new environment.

In conclusion
, I would argue that although there are disadvantages of part-time
jobs
, I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have time to do other things. Do the advantage outweighs disadvantage v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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