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Nowadays some people tend to take temporary jobs for they have the time to do other things Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v.1

Nowadays some people tend to take temporary jobs for they have the time to do other things Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 1
Since the beginning of the 21st century, a lot of animals are exposed to inaction. Some people believe that more money should be spent to protect the endangered species from extinction, while others argue that there are other issues more important than these animals, and the money should be spent on them, such as helping people who are suffering from wars. This essay will discuss the reason why money should be spent on these endangered species regardless of the importance of other issues. Money should be spent on endangered species because these animals are very important to balance the ecosystem. The damage of the ecosystem will affect significantly meansnslives in the future. Recent research, which was conducted at the Washington University, has shown that killing the endangered species will cause the disappearing of humans' lives in the near future, and it recommends to fund the projects which are responsible for protecting these species. Therefore, it seems clear that money should be spent on protecting endangered species to maintain the balance in the ecosystem. On the other hand, some people think that money should be spent on other issues, such as helping people who are suffering from wars. Some people do not have anything to eat, and these people have the priority than the endangered species. For example, more than one million people die every year because of wars. But, these people are unaware of the fact that the extinction of endangered species could affect our world also, and its impacts are greater than wars. Thus, money should be spent to help endangered species from extinction regardless of the impacts of wars. In conclusion, this essay discussed the reason why money should be paid to the organizations that follow endangered species since it is important to balance the ecosystem. In my opinion, I believe that endangered animals should be protected from extinction.
Since the beginning of the 21st century,
a lot of
animals
are exposed
to inaction.
Some
people
believe that more
money
should be
spent
to protect the
endangered
species from
extinction
, while others argue that there are
other
issues more
important
than these
animals
, and the
money
should be
spent
on them, such as helping
people
who are suffering from
wars
. This essay will discuss the reason why
money
should be
spent
on these
endangered
species regardless of the importance of
other
issues.
Money
should be
spent
on
endangered
species
because
these
animals
are
very
important
to balance the ecosystem.

The
damage of
the ecosystem will affect
significantly
meansnslives
in the future. Recent research, which
was conducted
at the Washington University, has shown that killing the
endangered
species will cause the disappearing of humans'
lives
in the near future, and it
recommends to fund
the projects which are responsible for protecting these species.
Therefore
, it seems
clear
that
money
should be
spent
on protecting
endangered
species to maintain the balance in the ecosystem.

On the
other
hand,
some
people
think
that
money
should be
spent
on
other
issues, such as helping
people
who are suffering from
wars
.
Some
people
do not have anything to eat, and these
people
have the priority than the
endangered
species.
For example
, more than one million
people
die
every year
because
of
wars
.
But
, these
people
are unaware of the fact that the
extinction
of
endangered
species could affect our world
also
, and its impacts are greater than
wars
.
Thus
,
money
should be
spent
to
help
endangered
species from
extinction
regardless of the impacts of wars.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the reason why
money
should
be paid
to the organizations that follow
endangered
species since it is
important
to balance the ecosystem. In my opinion, I believe that
endangered
animals
should
be protected
from
extinction
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays some people tend to take temporary jobs for they have the time to do other things Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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