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Some people support the rule 18 years as minimum age to start riding car; however other feel that this age limit should be increased to 25. This essay will discuss both the views and give a reasonable conclusion. v.2

Some people support the rule 18 years as minimum age to start riding car; however other feel that this age limit should be increased to 25. This essay will v. 2
There is a global controversy surrounding the age of individuals who tend to start driving in this era. Some people claim that the age of eighteen is right time to commence driving car. In contrast, other people persistently hold the diverse view and assert that it should rise to minimum 25. To me, the idea of the former party seems more appealing and I am going delve into both points of view. On the other hand, the age of 18 is well-known for the time that youngsters are mature enough to do some determined legal activities. It is widely announced by scholars that individuals at this age are more likely to be smart and intelligent in performing their tasks. So, it would be viable period for getting driver license. For example, a survey conducted by X University revealed that 60 percent of individuals between ages 18 and 25 were successful in their driving exams. However, just 30 percent of applicant from age 25 to 30 could readily pass their exams. On the other hand, in favor of second group people younger than 25 should be legally confined to driving. Although it could somehow cut down the number of the accident since older people are more conservative, individuals would be directly restricted from taking advantage of relief and welfare earlier. Generally, private transportation plays an immense role in provision of comfort in people’s life. For instance, especially in bad weather condition, getting to work by your own car, you could be properly immune from being late. So, it would be remarkably wise if people could possess the allowance of driving automobile. Not only would be more adept in this skill prior they get to 25, but they also could bring comfort to their life. To sum up, it would be transparently manifest that advantages of driving after age of eighteen outweigh its downsides. In addition, It would drop the obstacles of people’s life and they are more susceptible to comprehend this ability in this age.
There is a global controversy surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
in this era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen is right time to commence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
car.
In contrast
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
persistently
hold the diverse view and assert that it should rise to minimum 25. To me, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the former party seems more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
appealing and
I am going delve into both points of view.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 18 is well-known for the time that youngsters are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
determined legal activities. It is
widely
announced by scholars that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are more likely to be smart and intelligent in performing their tasks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be viable period for getting driver license.
For example
, a survey conducted by X University revealed that 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
18 and 25 were successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
exams.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30 percent of applicant from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
25 to 30 could
readily
pass their exams.

On the other hand
, in favor of second group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
younger than 25 should be
legally
confined to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. Although it could somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the number of the accident since older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more conservative,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
would be
directly
restricted from taking advantage of relief and welfare earlier.
Generally
, private transportation plays an immense role in provision of comfort in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
For instance
,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather condition, getting to work by your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car, you could be
properly
immune from being late.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be
remarkably
wise if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could possess the allowance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
automobile. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would be more adept in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
prior they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to 25,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
could bring comfort to their life.

To sum up, it would be
transparently
manifest that advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen outweigh its downsides.
In addition
, It would drop the obstacles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are more susceptible to comprehend this ability in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people support the rule 18 years as minimum age to start riding car; however other feel that this age limit should be increased to 25. This essay will v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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