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Some people think Governments should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyle of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.2

Some people think Governments should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyle of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. 2
It has been claimed that in this contemproray world health is not concerned as a major. Many human kinds think that officials should apply diverse methods to better healthy lifestyle of individuals, while ani-advocates suggest that keeping healthy is only in citizens response. In my aspects of illustration, this issue is becoming more indisputable than were in the past. The two controversial reflection of this argument will be analyzed below before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. Firstly, government should create more opportunities for people to continue healthy lifestyle. For example, building well-equipped sport facilities and health centres can be appropriate overcome from side of officials. Additionally, special sport trainings such as jogging, running and warm-up exercisises are esteblesheb in western countries before the working proccess is started in order to make mental and physical condition balanced. Besides that, in some countries, companies allocate some time for having rest(for sleeping) during work proccess but in limited period as it is proved to be beneficial because it preserves employees from insonia. Therefore, officials make contribution to the life of citizens, especially, in the terms of health care. However, individuals should to be a responsiable for their health. Because controlling a car is on drivers' hand as it has been enrolled. For example, articles about balanced diet are presented in many magazines and journals. Additionally, domestic easy daily exercises are recommended in these sources. Besides that, being healthy is clarified by how responsiable and punctual the person is, significantly, in doing sport activities daily. Thus, mainly people are liable in their healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, It is clear from the arguments above that both sides have a reasonable evedence. However, individuals contribute more to health than governments do. Every person should approach different to health, comming from their own weakness
It has
been claimed
that in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
contemproray
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not concerned as a major.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
human kinds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that officials should apply diverse methods to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle of individuals, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
ani-advocates
suggest that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in citizens response. In my aspects of illustration, this issue is becoming more indisputable than were in the past. The two controversial reflection of this argument will
be analyzed
below
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create more opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
For example
, building well-equipped sport facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can be appropriate overcome from side of officials.
Additionally
, special sport trainings such as jogging, running and warm-up
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercisises
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
esteblesheb
in western countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the working
Possible spelling mistake found.
proccess
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mental and physical condition balanced.
Besides
that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for having rest(for sleeping) during work
Possible spelling mistake found.
proccess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in limited period as it
is proved
to be beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it preserves employees from
Possible spelling mistake found.
insonia
.
Therefore
, officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contribution to the life of citizens,
especially
, in the terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

However
, individuals should to be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiable
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
controlling a car is on
Possible spelling mistake found.
drivers&
#039; hand as it has
been enrolled
.
For example
, articles about balanced diet
are presented
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
magazines and journals.
Additionally
, domestic easy daily exercises
are recommended
in these sources.
Besides
that, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is clarified
by how
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiable
and punctual the person is,
significantly
, in doing sport activities daily.
Thus
,
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are liable in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

In conclusion
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the arguments above that both sides have a reasonable
Possible spelling mistake found.
evedence
.
However
, individuals contribute more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do. Every person should approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
comming
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
weakness
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think Governments should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyle of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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