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some people support the developments in agriculture such as factory farming and creations of new types of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose this view. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people support the developments in agriculture such as factory farming and creations of new types of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose this view. v. 1
Innovative transformations namely factory farming and generating different types of crops to cope with a demand of foods is backed by few people. However, a group of people contradicts to the idea with the opinion that such food products have low nutritional values. Even though both the sides have valid points, I believe that there should be moderation in such techniques. On the one side, since there is an ever-increasing demand of foods due to the population boom, new developments in agribusiness is apt ways to tackle people's need. Different methods, for instance, such as greenhouse farming in arid lands, rearing chickens and pigs in a factory, and genetically modified crops are able to cultivate yields in no time. Consequently, the requirements of the general public can be fulfilled with an ease. On the other side, some people are sceptical about the quality of such products. To produce these kinds of food, stimulating procedures are being utilised. For illustration, usage of hormones to enhance the size and contents of foods, chemical fertilizers to speed up growth, and modified environment can probably hamper the quality. Therefore, these are not innocuous techniques. Alternatively, as per my point of view, there should be a line of border to implement factory farming and modifications in fruits and vegetable to maintain not only intact quality but also the originality of food products. If it is extremely needed to grow these food types, there should be stringent vigilance to monitor effects on the final output as well as on the environment. In conclusion, some people support modern farming processes to proliferate food production in order to appease people's requirement while others defy by expressing concerns pertinent to the quality of food products. Nonetheless, I firmly assert that there is no harm to use these procedures provided there ought to be controlled usage.
Innovative transformations
namely
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and generating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of crops to cope with a demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is backed
by few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contradicts to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
with the opinion that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have low nutritional values.
Even though
both the sides have valid points, I believe that there should be moderation in such techniques.

On the one side, since there is an ever-increasing demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
due to the population boom, new developments in agribusiness is apt ways to tackle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
methods,
for instance
, such as greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
in arid lands, rearing chickens and pigs in a factory, and
genetically
modified crops are able to cultivate yields in no time.
Consequently
, the requirements of the
Consider using "public".
general public
can
be fulfilled
with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To produce these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, stimulating procedures are being
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
. For illustration, usage of hormones to enhance the size and contents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, chemical fertilizers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
growth, and modified environment can
probably
hamper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
Therefore
, these are not innocuous techniques.

Alternatively
, as per my point of view, there should be a line of border to implement factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and modifications in fruits and vegetable to maintain not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
intact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the originality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If it is
extremely
needed to grow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
types, there should be stringent vigilance to monitor effects on the final output
as well
as on the environment.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
processes to proliferate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production in order to appease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's requirement while others defy by expressing concerns pertinent to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Nonetheless, I
firmly
assert that there is no harm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these procedures provided there ought to
be controlled
usage.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some people support the developments in agriculture such as factory farming and creations of new types of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose this view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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