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Some people support development of agriculture, like farming and scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people support development of agriculture, like farming and scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. v. 1
Over the last few years, with the invention and popularization of new techniques in agriculture there has been an immense development in the traditional methods. While some people have voiced their opinion that the move away from indigenous methods of cultivation can be harmful, others support this development. In this essay I will discuss both the sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view. The new methods of farming, which are being incorporated have proven to be useful. This is because the farmers and the agricultural industries are able to produce more harvest within short span of time and avoid business loss, unfavourable weather conditions, insufficient crop production and so on. To illustrate, new research and technologies are able to create fruits and vegetables in the laboratories, therefore producing pesticide-free eatables. Furthermore, new techniques promise to produce new varieties of fruits and vegetables not known to humankind. On the other hand, new technologies used in ergonomics can have repercussions if not done under supervision and within the budget. This is due to the huge investment done by the government to implement the highly advanced methods of farming and funding laboratories. For example, Singapore has discovered new technology to produce artificial shrimps using stem cell therapy. In addition, these artificial products would cost an arm and a leg to the common people and are clearly not affordable. Moreover, they might prove to be unhealthy also. In conclusion, although development in agriculture can be useful in many ways there are some drawbacks to be considered. In my opinion, the benefits of new techniques outweigh the drawbacks.
Over the last few years, with the invention and popularization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
techniques in agriculture there has been an immense development in the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have voiced their opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of cultivation can be harmful, others support this development. In this essay I will discuss both the sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the latter view.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of farming, which are
being incorporated
have proven to be useful. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the farmers and the agricultural industries are able to produce more harvest within short span of time and avoid business loss,
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
weather conditions, insufficient crop production and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
research and technologies are able to create fruits and vegetables in the laboratories,
therefore
producing pesticide-free eatables.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
techniques promise to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
varieties of fruits and vegetables not known to humankind.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in ergonomics can have repercussions if not done under supervision and within the budget. This is due to the huge investment done by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to implement the
highly
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of farming and funding laboratories.
For example
, Singapore has discovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology to produce artificial shrimps using stem cell therapy.
In addition
, these artificial products would cost an arm and a leg to the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and are
clearly
not affordable.
Moreover
, they might prove to be unhealthy
also
.

In conclusion
, although development in agriculture can be useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
be considered
. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
techniques outweigh the drawbacks.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people support development of agriculture, like farming and scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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