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Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. v.2

Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. v. 2
This global population explosion has reduced the farming lands and has overwhelmingly increased the demand for food. To accord with the demand, many have already adopted intensive animal farming and creation of fruits while others still follow the traditional ways of farming. Both approaches have merits and drawbacks but to feed the hungry mouths, scientific approaches to produce more food should be welcomed with proper research. To begin with, traditional farming produces fresh and hygienic food that have a proper nutrition. This approach also keeps the land fertile and do not make animal stocks that have been genetically modified. Consuming farm-fresh fruits and organic food is the secret to have a healthier life. However, the food production in this procedure is costly and sluggish. On the contrary, the world population has already reached to over 7. 6 billion and it is increasing rapidly. More population means fewer lands for cultivation. From this regards, I believe that scientific methods for producing more food at a reduced price is a timely demand. Intensive animal farming or industrial livestock production maximize production while minimizing production costs and this is a necessary step to feel the global food demand, I believe. To cite an example, the majority of the rural households in developing countries had farming lands and animal stocks to meet the demand for the family. These lands are shrinking to accommodate new family members and most of these households now rely on food items purchased from the market. If farmers do not adopt technology and scientific methods to produce more, people would starve. To conclude, we should employ scientific methods to support the development of agriculture at the current era where food demand is higher than any other time in the history, but proper research should be in place to ensure hygiene and quality of these productions.
This global population explosion has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
and has
overwhelmingly
increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To accord with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have already adopted intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and creation of fruits while others
still
follow the traditional ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
. Both approaches have merits and drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to feed the hungry mouths,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
approaches to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be welcomed
with proper research.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
produces fresh and hygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that have a proper nutrition. This approach
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
fertile and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
stocks that have been
genetically
modified. Consuming farm-fresh fruits and organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the secret to have a healthier life.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in this procedure is costly and sluggish.

On the contrary
, the world population has already reached to over 7. 6 billion and it is increasing
rapidly
. More population means fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
for cultivation. From
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
methods for producing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
price is a timely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
. Intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
or industrial livestock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
maximize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
while minimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
costs and this is a necessary step to feel the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
, I believe. To cite an example, the majority of the rural households in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
stocks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for the family. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
are shrinking to accommodate new family members and most of these households
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from the market. If farmers do not adopt technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
methods to produce more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would starve.

To conclude
, we should employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
methods to support the development of agriculture at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
is higher than any other time in the history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
proper research should be in place to ensure hygiene and quality of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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