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Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street while others think that it is the right thing to do Which point of view do you think is correct and why v.1

Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street while others think that it is the right thing to do Which point of view do you think is correct and why v. 1
Purchasing goods online has more pros or not is a very popular question for our generation. I, personally, think that such service has more to offer and it's way more beneficial for society. Let me explain in this essay why I feel this way. According to sources, largest library in the world has around 150000 books at a time. Which is a very big number, but very small as compare to total book in the world. We simply cannot find any book that we want in a store. On the other hand, websites like Amazon has all the books that exist in the world, which is convenient. Secondly, it is highly efficient as well. You don't have to travel and visit different store to get what you need. You can just order online and save time. It is efficient for companies as well. They can just store goods in their warehouse and efficiently deliver them as needed. Companies can use artificial intelligence to predict usage and can customize supply chain to reduce costs and ultimately make things cheaper. Companies don't have to build malls and pay for infrastructure which further helps in cost cutting. For things like air tickets, the only option is to buy them online. Online grocery purchase comes handy, especially those who are elderly and can't drive. However, The largest concern with online shopping people have been that it harms local business. Only big companies can provide such facilities as of now. This forces small business to sell their products on other websites and loose their profit to big corporations like Amazon. My argument to this is that it also gives small business exposure to a large audience. In conclusion, I feel with advancement in technology such options are inevitable. It is a good idea to adopt such innovative ways and progress with it.
Purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has more pros or not is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular question for our generation. I,
personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such service has more to offer and it's way more beneficial for society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay why I feel this way.

According to sources,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
library in the world has around 150000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at a time. Which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
as compare to total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
in the world. We
simply
cannot find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
that we want in a store.
On the other hand
, websites like Amazon has all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that exist in the world, which is convenient.

Secondly
, it is
highly
efficient
as well
. You don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what you need. You can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and save time. It is efficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
. They can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in their warehouse and
efficiently
deliver them as needed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
artificial intelligence to predict usage and can customize supply chain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
costs and
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things cheaper.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build malls and pay for infrastructure which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost cutting
. For things like air tickets, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
grocery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
handy,
especially
those who are elderly and can't drive.

However
, The largest concern with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been that it harms local business.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can provide such facilities as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This forces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business to sell their products on other websites and
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their profit to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporations like Amazon. My argument to this is that it
also
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business exposure to a large audience.

In conclusion
, I feel with advancement in technology such options are inevitable. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to adopt such innovative ways and progress with it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street while others think that it is the right thing to do Which point of view do you think is correct and why v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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