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Some people suggest that each family should only have a car and encourage alternative vehicle. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people suggest that each family should only have a car and encourage alternative vehicle. v. 2
Recently, the phenomenon of the opinion that each family should have only one car and its corresponding impacts has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by many that using personal car can be highly beneficial, such an issue regarded as thoroughly destroyer and negative by a substantial number of individuals. I am inclined to believe that using public vehicles can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay. To begin with, there are various reasons to support encouraging people to travel with alternative transportation. At first, traveling by personal car is faster and more convenient for most people. However, if everyone use their cars to reach their jobs it can be the cause of many disorders in the city. For example, many people waste their times in the crowded streets and highways due to they do not interested to travel by train or bus. In addition, many people avoided standing in a straight line for bus or Metro that is inconvenient for them that using the personal car. But, crowded avenues and highways is the main reason of environmental problems such as air pollution. For instance, a recent scientific research conducted by MIT University researchers in 2017 has shown that the main cause of the climate change in around the world is the gas emission by cars. In conclusion, while there are several compelling arguments on this viewpoint, I profoundly believe that the despite all difficulties with traveling with public transportation, the benefits of alternative vehicles are far outweighed its drawbacks.
Recently, the phenomenon of the opinion that each family should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and its corresponding impacts has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that using personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can be
highly
beneficial, such an issue regarded as
thoroughly
destroyer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
by a substantial number of individuals. I
am inclined
to believe that using public vehicles can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are various reasons to support encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel with alternative transportation. At
first
, traveling by personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is faster and more convenient for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, if everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to reach their jobs it can be the cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disorders in the city.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste their times in the crowded streets and highways due to they do not interested to travel by train or bus.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoided standing in a straight line for bus or Metro
that is
inconvenient for them that using the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, crowded avenues and highways is the main reason of environmental problems such as air pollution.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "recent scientific research".
a recent scientific research
conducted by MIT University researchers in 2017 has shown that the main cause of the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in around the world is the gas emission by cars.

In conclusion
, while there are several compelling arguments on this viewpoint, I
profoundly
believe that the despite all difficulties with traveling with public transportation, the benefits of alternative vehicles are far outweighed its drawbacks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people suggest that each family should only have a car and encourage alternative vehicle. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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