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The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicle on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduce to control car ownership and use. To what extant do you agree or disagree? v.8

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicle on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduce to control car ownership and use. To what extant v. 8
Undoubtedly there is huge increment in number of cars in last couple of decade, which certainly creates problem to environment and society. I agree that such laws should be introduce to restrict the private cars ownership and public transport facilities should be improve. Firstly Air pollution, which has become a huge problem for all, is mainly increases due to transport emission. Several studies shows that private cars has major source of contribution in air pollution. Although some developed countries have appreciated public transport system which may attract people to use it instead of personal cars but there is no stringent law to control the private cars numbers. That is why we have seen, younger generation still prefers to use personal vehicle instead. For an example children want to go by cars instead of school bus to showoff their luxury. Secondly Use of personal transport may lead people lazy, lack of physical exercise will lead to health problem such as obesity, high blood pressure and cardiac problems. It is proved that the person who walks average 5 Km daily will have less chances of heart attack. With use of alternate form of transport it will help to reduce the risk as well as saving of fossil fuels. With reduce number of private cars, the demand of petrol and diesel will also reduce, this will lead to save non renewable resource of energy for example petroleum and crude oil. In conclusion, The international laws to control the number of private vehicle will support society economically and also support clean environment. All countries should make such laws that should be valid for all.
Undoubtedly
there is huge increment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in last couple of decade, which
certainly
creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to environment and society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
should be
Consider using the past participle "introduced"?
introduce
to restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
ownership and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
facilities should be
Consider using the past participle "improved"?
improve
.

Firstly
Air pollution, which has become a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for all, is
mainly
increases due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
emission. Several studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has major source of contribution in air pollution. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have appreciated public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system which may attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
instead
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
.
That is
why we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, younger generation
still
prefers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal vehicle
instead
. For an example children want to go by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
instead
of school bus to showoff their luxury.

Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
may lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lazy, lack of physical exercise will lead to health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as obesity, high blood pressure and cardiac
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It
is proved
that the person who walks average 5 Km daily will have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of heart attack. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of alternate form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
as well
as saving of fossil fuels. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the demand of petrol and diesel will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, this will lead to save
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
resource of energy
for example
petroleum and crude oil.

In conclusion
, The international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
vehicle will support society
economically
and
also
support clean environment. All countries should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that should be valid for all.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicle on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduce to control car ownership and use. To what extant v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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