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Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development. v.9

Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development. v. 9
Nowadays, the boom in a significant increase regarding the number of shopping malls that leads to the gradual disappearance of small stores. For my perspective, this change brings both negative and positive impacts, however, the positive is greater. On the one hand, this tendency may give consumers a range of benefits which small stores could not give. First of all, shopping malls help people to save time when they plan to go shopping. To more detail, shopping malls which are available many kinds of different stores, for instance, food, clothes, accessories books, and even entertainment facilitates. Therefore, if a family would buy many types of thing, they just need to go to a shopping mall, they do not have to move from store to other stores which is quite time-consuming and inconvenient. As a result, this is the reason why currently shopping mall is more favorable than conventional stores. On the other hand, there are still many different advantages of shopping mall bringing to people. For example, this is obvious that shopping malls have many promotions and discounts for consumers compared to small stores. Moreover, shopping malls also provide their customers with a range of facilities such as free parking cars, memberships, and free delivery. Future more, a shopping mall could create huge opportunity employment for local people from that give the government a hand in reducing the unemployment rate and improving local live standards. In conclusion, although many people argued that shopping malls could bring some drawbacks such compete to local small stores but I intensely believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, the boom in a significant increase regarding the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
that leads to the gradual disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. For my perspective, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brings both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts,
however
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
is greater.

On the one hand, this tendency may give consumers a range of benefits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
could not give.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save time when they plan to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. To more detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
which are available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
for instance
, food, clothes, accessories books, and even entertainment facilitates.
Therefore
, if a family would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of thing, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
which is quite time-consuming and inconvenient.
As a result
, this is the reason why
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is more favorable than conventional stores.

On the other hand
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
bringing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, this is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
promotions and discounts for consumers compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
also
provide their customers with a range of facilities such as free parking cars, memberships, and free delivery. Future more, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
could create huge opportunity employment for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from that give the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
a hand in reducing the unemployment rate and improving local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
standards.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such compete to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
intensely
believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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