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Some people students in school learn better when they study in group, others say school students study better when they are on their own. Discuss both views and give your oppinion. v.2

Some people students in school learn better when they study in group, others say school students study better when they are on their own. v. 2
There has been a discussion about the best study method for students in school. While some people say that studying with friends is useful, I agrue that self-learning may bring various positive effects to students On the one hand, study group could bring many various impaction to student. Firstly, this way enable student to share knowledge with others, at the same time, they also gain new information and experience from their partner. Sencondly, via study group, the communication skills can be improved quickly because they have the chance to contact with different people. However, in some cases, negative attitude of the lack of awareness member could effects the ability of everyone in the group. For example, with a difficult assignment to complete within tight deadline, it is easy to lose motivation when one of members gives up. On the other hand. There are both advantages and disadvantages which are caused by self-learning. Firstly, it can not dennied the advantage which self-learning bring. When studying lonely in a silence space, student can focus easier to solve their task because they may be disturbed by the noisiness from around. Secondly, it is convenient study way. The evidence for this position is that student can learn whenever and wherever they want such as in the park, in the bus, and so on. However, this way can cause unwanted effects if the student do not have consciousness, not stick to plan. It is hard to achieve desired purpose. In conclusion, both of 2 methods have their advantages and disadvantages. Student should consider and make choice which is appropriate with him or her.
There has been a discussion about the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in school. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that studying with friends is useful, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
agrue
that self-learning may bring various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
students


On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
group could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various impaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Firstly
, this way enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to share knowledge with others, at the same time, they
also
gain new information and experience from their partner.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sencondly
, via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
group, the communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
quickly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the chance to contact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude of the lack of awareness member could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effects
the ability of everyone in the group.
For example
, with a difficult assignment to complete within tight deadline, it is easy to lose motivation when one of members gives up.

On the other hand
. There are both advantages and disadvantages which
are caused
by self-learning.
Firstly
, it can not
Possible spelling mistake found.
dennied
the advantage which self-learning bring. When studying lonely in a silence space,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can focus easier to solve their task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may
be disturbed
by the noisiness from around.
Secondly
, it is convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
way. The evidence for this position is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can learn whenever and wherever they want such as in the park, in the bus, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, this way can cause unwanted effects if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
do not have consciousness, not stick to plan. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve desired purpose.

In conclusion
, both of 2 methods have their advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
should consider and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choice which is appropriate with him or her.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people students in school learn better when they study in group, others say school students study better when they are on their own. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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