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Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. v. 2
Wedding ceremonies are ceremonies which people spend different amounts of money. This essay will discuss the viewpoints of people while some of them spend a lot of money for wedding ceremonies and others feel like it is not compulsory to spend a lot. This issue can really be crucial at the time of the wedding arrangements. Couples may fight or the bride may not agree with some stuff, like decorations, with the family of the groom. In this sense, the essay will primarily discuss the reasons why people may desire to spend lots of money for their life-changing ceremony. Weddings can be a lifelong experience, which will be organized once by the bride herself. As most of the women want to be a princess, this is one of their time to feel like that truly. Moreover, they may not find a second chance to marry, so it must be understandable if they want to spend much money to make everything perfect, as they have always dreamed. However, this money can be spent more usefully. The groom and bride can agree to spend the money for decorating their house or can use it for experiencing a life-changing holiday. They may also increase the quality of their honeymoon by cutting some expenses from the wedding ceremony. At the end, the wedding ceremony will only last for 8 or 9 hours. Moreover, bride and groom cannot even have a fun at their own wedding, instead of enjoying it, they will spend their time by welcoming others and taking pictures with them. Therefore, spending money to other useful activities is more logical than spending every penny to the wedding ceremony. As the weddings are crowded and unenjoyable, it is better to save some expenses and spending them later to have fun as a new constructed family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss the viewpoints of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
feel like it is not compulsory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a lot. This issue can
really
be crucial at the time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
arrangements. Couples may fight or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bride
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuff, like decorations, with the family of the groom. In this sense, the essay will
primarily
discuss the reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their life-changing ceremony.

Weddings can be a lifelong experience, which will
be organized
once by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bride
herself. As most of the women want to be a princess, this is one of their time to feel like that
truly
.
Moreover
, they may not find a second chance to marry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be understandable if they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everything perfect, as they have always dreamed.

However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be spent
more
usefully
. The groom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bride
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for decorating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for experiencing a life-changing holiday. They may
also
increase the quality of their honeymoon by cutting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenses from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
last for 8 or 9 hours.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bride
and groom cannot even have a fun at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
,
instead
of enjoying it, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their time by welcoming others and taking pictures with them.

Therefore
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to other useful activities is more logical than spending every penny to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are crowded
and unenjoyable, it is better to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenses and spending them later to have fun as a new constructed family.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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