Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

QUESTION: Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. v.1

QUESTION: Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. v. 1
Spending a humongous amount of money on marriage nuptials has become a trend nowadays. Whereas a portion of society considers this as an avoidable expense. Although marriage once in a lifetime activity and the people spend money to make it memorable, I strongly believe the money can be utilized in creating assets that will help the newlywed couple to start the new life. To embark with, people who tend to spend a huge amount of money on wedding ceremonies do this as they want to make this event extraordinary. Marriage is considered as a holy relationship between two souls and thus, masses want to celebrate the occasion in such a way that lovely memories will cherish them forever. For instance, wearing costly designer clothes, purchasing lavish jewelry and exchanging valuable gifts makes people feel happy and believe the ceremony was an unforgettable experience. Indeed, the predominant reason why people spend enormous money on wedding nuptials because they not only want to make the event exceptional but also to create memories that will stay with them lifelong. On the other hand, the amount being spent on a lavish wedding can be utilized to create assets that will not only help the couple to start a new life but also make them financially independent. In other words, Instead of spending money on perishable things to make wedding royal, we can utilize the funds in buying things that will make our future financially secure. For instance, buying a new house, purchasing a car or starting a new business, which will provide a stable start to the newlyweds as well as make them economically strong. Clearly, it is worth saving the amount for the future rather than spending the same money for the enjoyment of a couple of days. In conclusion, I am certain that spending a lot of money on marriage ceremonies is not wise as it does not create much value, instead one should focus on building assets from that money to help themselves in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
a humongous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
nuptials has become a trend nowadays. Whereas a portion of society considers this as an avoidable expense. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
once in a lifetime activity and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it memorable, I
strongly
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be utilized
in creating assets that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the newlywed couple to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life.

To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to spend a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies do this as they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
extraordinary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage
is considered
as a holy relationship between two souls and
thus
, masses want to celebrate the occasion in such a way that lovely memories will cherish them forever.
For instance
, wearing costly designer clothes, purchasing lavish jewelry and exchanging valuable gifts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel happy and believe the ceremony was an unforgettable experience.
Indeed
, the predominant reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
nuptials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
exceptional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to create memories that will stay with them lifelong.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
being spent
on a lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
can
be utilized
to create assets that will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the couple to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
financially
independent.
In other words
,
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on perishable things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
royal, we can utilize the funds in buying things that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our future
financially
secure.
For instance
, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, purchasing a car or starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
business, which will provide a stable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to the newlyweds
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
economically
strong.
Clearly
, it is worth saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for the future
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the enjoyment of a couple of days.

In conclusion
, I am certain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
ceremonies is not wise as it does not create much value,
instead
one should focus on building assets from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves in the future.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay QUESTION: Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts