Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say, the thing to be happy in life is to have lot of money. How much having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v.1

Some people say, the thing to be happy in life is to have lot of money. How much having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v. 1
It is often believed that happiness is always measured in terms of money. Whether one likes it or lumps it, the role played by money in today’s life is indispensable. If that is true, can one forego the importance of money? This essay is going to deal about the connection between money and happiness in one’s mind. Since childhood, we all have understood that nothing comes for free. That is the reason, why people around the globe are always in mobility to earn money as it is widely accepted that most of the things can be bought only with money. This attitude begins from a school or a college goer who demands pocket money from his parents, a job seeker who negotiates his pay structure depending on his skills and the employees at the workplace where they have to prove their abilities at year end appraisals, as that impacts their further remuneration. For example, the Chief of Amazon is the highest paid man on earth and the company rewards him with millions of profits. In all these situations, it is evident that if one earns more, he and his entire family will be happy. On the contrary, if one is underpaid or if his pocket is empty, he is considered as inferior or a disgrace to this society. However, money alone cannot provide happiness to oneself. Else, this society would have become greedy, which would result in a dearth of philanthropists or charities. There is a saying that, teach a man how to do fishing rather than feeding him a fish. Philanthropy goes a long way to uplift the mankind. In my country, there are a vast number of schools and colleges that are established to provide free education, especially to the less fortunate children, as that helps them a long way in building their life and make them able to lead a better life and in turn find happiness in the rest of their journey. To conclude, money is the primordial thing in human’s life without which nothing is possible. However money cannot buy happiness all the time. There are various other things such as leading a healthy life, living with a happy family and disciplined kids are far better in making one's life happy. That is the reason, the famous philanthropist Warren Buffet said that happiness is not a destination but a journey.
It is
often
believed that
happiness
is always measured in terms of
money
. Whether one likes it or lumps it, the role played by
money
in
today
’s
life
is indispensable. If
that is
true, can one forego the importance of
money
? This essay is going to deal about the
connection between
money
and
happiness
in one’s mind.

Since childhood, we all have understood that nothing
comes
for free.
That is
the reason, why
people
around the globe are always in mobility to earn
money
as it is
widely
accepted
that most of the things can be
bought
only
with
money
. This attitude
begins
from a school or a college goer who demands pocket
money
from his parents, a job seeker who negotiates his pay structure depending on his
skills
and the employees at the workplace where they
have to
prove their abilities at year
end
appraisals, as that impacts their
further
remuneration.
For example
, the Chief of Amazon is the highest paid
man
on earth and the
company
rewards him with millions of profits. In all these situations, it is evident that if one earns more, he and his entire family will be happy.
On the contrary
, if one is underpaid or if his pocket is empty, he
is considered
as inferior or a disgrace to this society.

However
,
money
alone cannot provide
happiness
to oneself. Else, this society would have become greedy, which would result in a dearth of philanthropists or charities. There is a saying that, teach a
man
how to
do fishing
rather
than feeding him a fish. Philanthropy goes a long way to uplift the mankind. In my country, there are a vast number of schools and colleges that
are established
to provide free education,
especially
to the less fortunate children, as that
helps
them a long way in building their
life
and
make
them able to lead a better
life
and in turn find
happiness
in the rest of their journey.

To conclude
,
money
is the primordial thing in human’s
life
without which nothing is possible.
However
money
cannot
buy
happiness
all the time. There are various other things such as leading a healthy
life
, living with a happy family and disciplined kids are far better in making one's
life
happy.
That is
the reason, the
famous
philanthropist Warren Buffet said that
happiness
is not a destination
but
a journey.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say, the thing to be happy in life is to have lot of money. How much having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts