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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How having a lot of money can make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v.6

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How having a lot of money can make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v. 6
Every human being long for happiness. There is an opinion that, in order to be happy, plenty of wealth is necessary. This essay will discuss how the money can fulfil people's materialistic needs and make them happy, and also how the factors such as peace of mind and health could keep people lively. The luxurious people can own things they wish to possess. These individuals could buy cars, houses and clothes of their choices and live an attractive lifestyle. Furthermore, being wealthy can take an individual to any tourist spots in the world. For an example, a recent survey conducted by a news channel stated that more than 80 percentage of people whose annual income is more than 500 thousand dollars enjoy their lives the most. Because of these reasons, richness could create joy into one's lives. However, dollars cannot purchase mental health and fitness. No matter how wealthy a person is, not just stress free life is utmost necessary, but also being healthy, free from diseases is vital too. Having peace of mind can solve any problems without being too worried. In addition, a person who is healthy can involve himself in all kinds of social activities and become famous. My personal experience is that I feel happy when I involve myself in sports related activities which keeps me fit and free from unwanted thoughts in my mind. These are the factors, other than money, which could bring joy into people's life. To conclude, how we pursue our happiness plays an important role in everyone's life. This essay discussed how money can bring happiness by buying wealthy assets, and also how health and mental peace could induce the liveliness.
Every human being long for happiness. There is an opinion that, in order to be happy,
plenty
of wealth is necessary. This essay will discuss how the money can fulfil
people
's materialistic needs and
make
them happy, and
also
how the factors such as peace of mind and health could
keep
people
lively.

The luxurious
people
can
own
things they wish to possess. These individuals could
buy
cars,
houses
and clothes of their choices and
live
an attractive lifestyle.
Furthermore
, being wealthy can take an individual to any tourist spots in the world. For an example, a recent survey conducted by a news channel stated that more than 80 percentage of
people
whose annual income is more than 500 thousand dollars enjoy their
lives
the most.
Because
of these reasons, richness could create joy into one's
lives
.

However
, dollars cannot
purchase
mental health and fitness. No matter how wealthy a person is, not
just
stress
free life is utmost necessary,
but
also
being healthy, free from diseases is vital too. Having peace of mind can solve any problems without being too worried.
In addition
, a person who is healthy can involve himself in all kinds of social activities and become
famous
. My personal experience is that I feel happy when I involve myself in sports related activities which
keeps
me fit and free from unwanted thoughts in my mind. These are the factors, other than money, which could bring joy into
people
's life.

To conclude
, how we pursue our happiness plays an
important
role in everyone's life. This essay discussed how money can bring happiness by buying wealthy assets, and
also
how health and mental peace could induce the liveliness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How having a lot of money can make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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