Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v.2

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 2
We live in a materialistic world where a proportionally large number of the demographic aspire to purchase and own popular brands of clothing, high end automobiles, as well as other products. In my opinion, such propensity is closely associated with prestige combined together with contentment. I believe, the urge to own extortionate items is an overall negative development. Firstly, people associate top brands with prestige and happiness. In other words, ownership of trendy clothes or world class cars naturally makes one appear wealthier. To illustrate, a recent Facebook post by a mother narrated a situation where her child was bullied by her peers because she was dropped off to school by a 90’s inexpensive car on a daily basis. Where as, the child’s peers landed in modern ones such as BMW and Mercedes. As a result of which, the kid’s parents were under pressure to update their car, and when they did, their child instinctively turned happy. However, the need to catch up with expensive articles is, in my opinion an all together a negative development as it segregated the society into the rich and the poor. For instance, super cars studio in the United States do not grant permit to their customers to test drive cars until they paid a certain portion of the bill. They smartly implemented this rule after experiencing economically backward people approaching them for a trial which in the slightest opportunity would provide them a life time experience of driving a luxurious car which otherwise they would not be able to afford. To sum up, by linking prestige and happiness to owning popular extortionate products people are in a constant need to update to latest trends. This is, in my perspective a negative development.
We
live
in a materialistic world where a
proportionally
large number of the demographic aspire to
purchase
and
own
popular brands of clothing, high
end
automobiles,
as well
as other products. In my opinion, such propensity is
closely
associated with prestige
combined together
with contentment. I believe, the urge to
own
extortionate items is an
overall
negative
development.

Firstly
,
people
associate top brands with prestige and happiness.
In other words
, ownership of trendy clothes or world
class
cars
naturally
makes
one appear wealthier. To illustrate, a recent Facebook post by a mother narrated a situation where her child
was bullied
by her peers
because
she
was dropped
off to school by a
90’s
inexpensive
car
on a daily basis.
Where as
, the child’s peers landed in modern ones such as BMW and Mercedes.
As a result
of which, the kid’s parents were under pressure to update their
car
, and when they did, their child instinctively turned happy.

However
, the need to catch up with expensive articles is, in my opinion an all together a
negative
development as it segregated the society into the rich and the poor.
For instance
, super
cars
studio in the United States do not grant permit to their customers to
test
drive
cars
until they paid a certain portion of the bill. They
smartly
implemented this
rule
after experiencing
economically
backward
people
approaching them for a trial which in the slightest opportunity would provide them a
life time
experience of driving a luxurious
car
which
otherwise
they would not be able to afford.

To sum up, by linking prestige and happiness to owning popular extortionate products
people
are in a constant need to update to
latest
trends. This is, in my perspective a
negative
development.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts