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Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults. Others say that it is better if they remain with the family. v. 1

According to some people, youngsters should be motivated to leave their home and live on their own when they become adults. However, others believe that young people should stay with their families as long as possible. I personally opine that it is a wise decision to leave home at the beginning of one’s career, provided that one does not have any dependent family members. Now, I will discuss both the views in upcoming paragraphs. Encouraging young people to leave their homes and be on their own is definitely a common trend seen nowadays and there are various reasons to support this argument. First, better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. Second, people become independent in addition to being confident and mature, when they leave their homes and live at far places. For example, now they learn to take decisions on their own, both personally and professionally, considering their growth and goals. On the other hand, living with families has its own advantages which cannot be overlooked. First, people can remain under the guidance of their parents and elder members of house and develop qualities like respect, caring attitude towards them. This consequently helps them to stay connected to the roots of our culture and values. For example, studies have shown that adults who live in their families are more emotionally attached to them as compared to ones who live at distant places. Second, they can provide mental and emotional support to their parents whenever they need it. However, in my opinion, although it is necessary for an individual to be career-orientated and independent in this competitive world, it should not be at the expense of your family and if they are dependent on you, it is better to stay with them and find an alternative to grow professionally and financially in your hometown. To conclude, there are certainly benefits to leaving home and being on one’s own. However, if your family is dependent on you, it is better to stay with them so that you can take better care of your needs.

IELTS essay Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults. Others say that it is better if they remain with the family. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

According to
some
people
, youngsters should
be motivated
to
leave
their home and
live
on their
own
when they become adults.
However
, others believe that young
people
should
stay
with their
families
as long as possible. I
personally
opine that it is a wise decision to
leave
home at the beginning of one’s career, provided that one does not have any dependent
family
members.
Now
, I will discuss both the views in upcoming paragraphs.

Encouraging young
people
to
leave
their
homes
and be on their
own
is definitely a common trend
seen
nowadays and there are various reasons to support this argument.
First
,
better
job opportunities are available when
people
move
to cities or other countries. This,
therefore
,
helps
in their career development and broadens their career prospects. Second,
people
become independent
in addition
to being confident and mature, when they
leave
their
homes
and
live
at far places.
For example
,
now
they learn to take decisions on their
own
, both
personally
and
professionally
, considering their growth and goals.

On the other hand
, living with
families
has its
own
advantages which cannot
be overlooked
.
First
,
people
can remain under the guidance of their parents and elder members of
house
and develop qualities like respect, caring attitude towards them. This
consequently
helps
them to
stay
connected to the roots of our culture and values.
For example
, studies have shown that adults who
live
in their
families
are more
emotionally
attached to them as compared to
ones
who
live
at distant places. Second, they can provide mental and emotional support to their parents whenever they need it.

However
, in my opinion, although it is necessary for an individual to be career-orientated and independent in this competitive world, it should not be at the expense of your
family
and if they are dependent on you, it is
better
to
stay
with them and find an alternative to grow
professionally
and
financially
in your hometown.
To conclude
, there are
certainly
benefits to leaving home and being on one’s
own
.
However
, if your
family
is dependent on you, it is
better
to
stay
with them
so
that you can take
better
care of your needs.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb
Essay
4 paragraphs
360 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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