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Some people say that what children watch on TV influence their behaviour while others say that say the amount of time they spend watching TV influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that what children watch on TV influence their behaviour while others say that say the amount of time they spend watching TV influences their behaviour. v. 1
It is argued that these days since people from both the genders doing full-time jobs, it is obvious that they should share the responsibility of the household work. This essay agrees with this suggestion because it creates a healthy balance at home. This essay will first explain how this can contribute towards the better development of the children, followed by how it can provide the same level of opportunity for everyone to succeed in their careers. When men and women chip-in at home, it is guaranteed that the children at home will always have at least one parent to take care of them and involved in their upbringing. A child has something to learn from each parent and having either father or mother around will ensure that a child never feels lonely. This contributes to a healthy and happy childhood, which in turn leads to a kid's overall development. For example, a recent survey in the Times magazine noted that children who spend time at the residence with at least one parent is more cheerful than one who are usually at childcare facilities. Another big advantage of a guy and a girl taking part in the household chores, is that both gets a level field to focus on their respective careers. With the concept of shared tasks, the couple can spend an equal amount of time on their job which in turn makes sure that the two have the best chance of progressing in their job. If a person is more burdened than the other, they will not excel at work and that in turn is a recipe of unhappy married life. For example, if husband and wife decide that a person should cook food and other should take care of cleaning kitchen, they can schedule their work accordingly to enable both to have adequate time to complete their tasks. In summary, each person getting involved, not only allows the parents to be an equal part of their kid's life, but also gives them a good shot at making it in their ambitions. Overall, this creates a happy home-life and a good family setting.
It
is argued
that these days since
people
from both the genders doing full-time jobs, it is obvious that they should share the responsibility of the household work. This essay
agrees
with this suggestion
because
it creates a healthy balance at home. This essay will
first
explain
how this can contribute towards the better development of the children, followed by how it can provide the same level of opportunity for everyone to succeed in their careers.

When
men
and women chip-in at home, it
is guaranteed
that the children at home will always have at least one
parent
to take care of them and involved in their upbringing. A child has something to learn from each
parent
and having either father or mother around will ensure that a child never feels lonely. This contributes to a healthy and happy childhood, which in turn leads to a kid's
overall
development.
For example
, a recent survey in the
Times
magazine noted that children who spend
time
at the residence with at least one
parent
is more cheerful than one who are
usually
at childcare facilities.

Another
big
advantage of a guy and a girl taking part in the household chores, is that both
gets
a level field to focus on their respective careers. With the concept of shared tasks, the couple can spend an equal amount of
time
on their job which in turn
makes
sure that the two have the best chance of progressing in their job. If a person is more burdened than the other, they will not excel at work and that in turn is a recipe of unhappy married life.
For example
, if husband and wife decide that a person should cook food and other should take care of cleaning kitchen, they can schedule their work
accordingly
to enable both to have adequate
time
to complete their tasks.

In summary, each person getting involved, not
only
allows
the
parents
to be an equal part of their kid's life,
but
also
gives them a
good
shot at making it in their ambitions.
Overall
, this creates a happy home-life and a
good
family setting.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that what children watch on TV influence their behaviour while others say that say the amount of time they spend watching TV influences their behaviour. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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