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It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development? v.3

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development? v. 3
Many school students are taking a year long break before getting the entrance to the university. Although, they might lose their interest and divert from their path, they will get the chance to relax the brain and explore the life, and passion. The two benefits of having a term off before start the university education are mind relaxation and enjoyment of soul including concern. Firstly, this gap will help the folks to relax their wisdom from all the tensions and stress of studies, because the students have to do lots of assignments during their course and as a result they might feel stress on their mind. For example, they have a very tough and busy schedule during their school life and they have to complete their assignments including exams also, and this will increase the issues of stress. Secondly, during their consideration point they have not enough pace to live their interests and explore their life. Once they get off from classes they can enjoy the growth. For instance, if someone like travelling, then this research break will be the best moment to go on trips and explore the world. Despite the benefits, lose importance and divert from their path are the major drawbacks which are associated with taking a duration off. The main problem is that the students might lose their interest in the subject. In order to enjoy their activities, they forget most of the concepts and information which affect their importance level too. For example, a long gap will affect their memorization and they lose enthusiasm. Another disadvantage is diverted from their path for the future. The folks find more interesting things or activities during this break era which will become their main focus point. For instance, some students find a job opportunity during their off and they find it more interested than their study, so they will like to continue with their job not with the subject. To conclude, taking a section off before the university is becoming a trend now. Although students experience their interests and life, they may lose their passion in the course including the change of their priorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taking a year long break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting the entrance to the university. Although, they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and divert from their path, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to relax the brain and explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and passion.

The two benefits of having a term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the university education are mind relaxation and enjoyment of soul including concern.
Firstly
, this gap will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the folks to relax their wisdom from all the tensions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do lots of assignments during their course and
as a result
they might feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on their mind.
For example
, they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough and busy schedule during their school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete their assignments including exams
also
, and this will increase the issues of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Secondly
, during their consideration point they have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
pace to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and explore their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
from classes they can enjoy the growth.
For instance
, if someone like travelling, then this research break will be the best moment to go on trips and explore the world.

Despite the benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
importance and divert from their path are the major drawbacks which
are associated
with taking a duration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
. The main problem is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the subject. In order to enjoy their activities, they forget most of the concepts and information which affect their importance level too.
For example
, a long gap will affect their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
memorization and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
enthusiasm. Another disadvantage
is diverted
from their path for the future. The folks find more interesting things or activities during this break era which will become their main focus point.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find a job opportunity during their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
off and
they find it more interested than their study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to continue with their job not with the subject.

To conclude
, taking a section
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the university is becoming a trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
experience their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their passion in the course including the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
priorities
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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