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Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. v. 2
People have different views about whether it is the content of TV programs or the length of time spent on watching them has more significant impacts on children. While the amount of time devoted affects preschoolers, I would argue that content viewed has a more marked influence on them. On the one hand, the consequences of watching TV for long periods could be detrimental to the youngster. Firstly, the longer the children are exposed to programs broadcasted, the more likely it is for them to be addictive over time. If children are too over-reliant on TV for entertainment, they might neglect the outdoor activities, resulting in a sedentary lifestyle that is highly harmful to their physical health. Secondly, excessive time for TV watching would impair the children’s communication. For example, if children spend too much time in front of the TV screen, they are discouraged from interaction with others. Gradually, this habit would exclude them from their social lives and hinder their development of living skills as well as mental health. On the other hand, I strongly believe that the content shown on the screen have the most direct effects on the behavior of young viewers. The broadcasted images from TV could present inappropriate materials for teenagers such as violence, sex, and abusive language. When youngsters are unable to distinguish between the right and wrong at their age, they tend to adopt improper behaviors seen on TV. For instance, scenes of violence in movies typically showing poor examples for manner could make these adolescents fall under the impression that brutal and fighting is the feature of manliness and charm, later ending up the potential risk of committing a serious crime in the future. In conclusion, while time duration for sitting behind the screen has its own implication for children's behaviour and personality, it seems to me that the factor with more considerable impacts on shaping a child’s value is the content.
People
have
different
views about whether it is the
content
of TV programs or the length of
time
spent on watching them has more significant impacts on
children
. While the amount of
time
devoted affects preschoolers, I would argue that
content
viewed has a more marked influence on them.

On the one hand, the consequences of watching TV for long periods could be detrimental to the youngster.
Firstly
, the longer the
children
are exposed
to programs broadcasted, the more likely it is for them to be addictive over
time
. If
children
are too over-reliant on TV for entertainment, they might neglect the outdoor activities, resulting in a sedentary lifestyle
that is
highly
harmful to their physical health.
Secondly
, excessive
time
for TV watching would impair the
children’s
communication.
For example
, if
children
spend too much
time
in front of the TV screen, they
are discouraged
from interaction with others.
Gradually
, this habit would exclude them from their social
lives
and hinder their development of living
skills
as well
as mental health.

On the other hand
, I
strongly
believe that the
content
shown on the screen have the most direct effects on the behavior of young viewers. The broadcasted images from TV could present inappropriate materials for
teenagers
such as violence, sex, and abusive language. When youngsters are unable to distinguish between the right and
wrong
at their age, they tend to adopt improper behaviors
seen
on TV.
For instance
, scenes of violence in movies
typically
showing poor examples for manner could
make
these adolescents fall under the impression that brutal and fighting is the feature of manliness and charm, later ending up the potential
risk
of committing a serious crime in the future.

In conclusion
, while
time
duration for sitting behind the screen has its
own
implication for children's
behaviour
and personality, it seems to me that the factor with more considerable impacts on shaping a child’s value is the
content
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. v. 2

Essay
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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