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11 In times of an economic crisis in which area should governments reduce their spending 1 Arts2 Scientific research3 Parks and public gardens The Preference type three sides of the issue should be discussed but focusing on one v.1

11 In times of an economic crisis in which area should governments reduce their spending 1 Arts2 Scientific research3 Parks and public gardens The Preference type three sides of the issue should be discussed but focusing on one v. 1
In the past few years, some rich countries have witnessed the significant increase in life expectancy. There are several impacts of this phenomenon in the society, and effective measures can be taken into account to ease out the effect of the aging population. The increase in average living age is determined by different factors. Firstly, due to high quality and affordable healthcare systems in developed countries, people’s health are well-taken care of. For example, in Canada, everyone has access to their well-equipped medical facilities at a very reasonable fee or even free of charge. Secondly, once the basic needs are satisfied, humans are likely to pay intensive intentions to their daily nutrition intake. Therefore, in rich countries, residents prefer to eat healthy food and physical exercise. This leads to longer and better expectation of life. However, there are several methods to re-address this aging population issue. The first noticeable solution is to redefine the senior age. As current practice, people over 65 years old are considered elders. While most of them are still capable to work until the age of 70s, it is necessary to change the age bracket to reflect the reality. As a result, there would be additional labour forces in the economy. Additionally, another measurement to be considered is welfare eligibility criteria. This can be done by increasing sets of requirements for seniors to be eligible for the subsidy. For example, seniors have to prove that they do not have any other incomes such as rentals within twelve months prior to applying for the welfare. Consequently, it will limit the number of qualified seniors for pension, and the amount of money that the government has to fund for the aging generation. In conclusion, aging population is caused be several reasons, and the society should come up with effective tactics in order to tackle with this matter
In the past few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich countries have witnessed the significant increase in life expectancy. There are several impacts of this phenomenon in the society, and effective measures can
be taken
into account to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
out the effect of the aging population.

The increase in average living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is determined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors.
Firstly
, due to high quality and affordable healthcare systems in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health are well-taken care of.
For example
, in Canada, everyone has access to their well-equipped medical facilities at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable fee or even free of charge.
Secondly
, once the basic needs
are satisfied
, humans are likely to pay intensive intentions to their daily nutrition intake.
Therefore
, in rich countries, residents prefer to eat healthy food and physical exercise. This leads to longer and better expectation of life.

However
, there are several methods to re-address this aging population issue. The
first
noticeable solution is to redefine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
practice,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are considered
elders. While most of them are
still
capable to work until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 70s, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket to reflect the reality.
As a result
, there would be additional
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
forces in the economy.
Additionally
, another measurement to
be considered
is welfare eligibility criteria. This can
be done
by increasing sets of requirements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
to be eligible for the subsidy.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prove that they do not have any other incomes such as rentals within twelve months prior to applying for the welfare.
Consequently
, it will limit the number of qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
for pension, and the amount of money that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
fund for the aging generation.

In conclusion
, aging population
is caused
be several reasons, and the society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with effective tactics in order to tackle with this matter
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 11 In times of an economic crisis in which area should governments reduce their spending 1 Arts2 Scientific research3 Parks and public gardens The Preference type three sides of the issue should be discussed but focusing on one v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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