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Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper anymore. with this opinion? v. 2
Internet and smart media are becoming more and more common, in modern life. Many people think that newspapers are not useful and convenient enough for them. I disagree with that opinion and believe that newspapers are still important role in our life. On the one hand, we could not negate the large impact of online media and smart device with each people. When news on global issues are covered by any computer and mobile device that have an Internet connection, people easily think that purchasing a printed copy of the common news is unnecessary and costly. Furthermore, daily updating news by newspapers is instead by opening one website on the Internet that we just need to double click. For this reason, it is understandable why newspapers become no longer needed. However, these day, when people become more and more dependent on the digital technology, many rumours are posted on the online newspaper and make us not believe in the formal information sources. Newspapers not only are vice-government to announce to citizens but also became reading culture of older people. Besides that, storing the ancient newspapers in the library become abundant data sources for education. A concrete example is one of the oldest newspaper in Vietnam, Nhan Dan News. Nhan Dan was established in 1951. For 60 years, Nhan Dan has had important position in each Vietnamese people. In conclusion, I believe from the pointes above that the news in the printed form, may be replaced by Internet. Though, it still has many spiritual values for each people, who need them if they have a limited Internet access.
Internet and smart media are becoming more and more common, in modern life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are not useful and convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for them. I disagree with that opinion and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life.

On the one hand, we could not negate the large impact of online media and smart device with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on global issues
are covered
by any computer and mobile device that have an Internet connection,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that purchasing a printed copy of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is unnecessary and costly.
Furthermore
, daily updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is
instead
by opening one website on the Internet that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
double click
.
For this reason
, it is understandable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
become no longer needed.

However
,
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more and more dependent on the digital technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
are posted
on the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us not believe in the formal information sources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are vice-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to announce to citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
became reading culture of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
that, storing the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
in the library become abundant data sources for education. A concrete example is one of the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
in Vietnam,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhan
Dan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhan
Dan
was established
in 1951. For 60 years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhan
Dan has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
position in each Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I believe from the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "points", the plural form of the noun 'point'?
pointes
above that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the printed form, may
be replaced
by Internet. Though, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spiritual values for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who need them if they have a limited Internet access.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper anymore. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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