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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v.16

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 16
In the modern era, globalization has become an essential part of everyday life. It is often said by some that learning another language is only because of travelling or working, however, others claim that there are more reasons why people ought to learn a second language. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and express my support for the latter view. Generally speaking, the are a wide range of reasons why people believe that travelling or working overseas are only reasons for learning another language. Perhaps, the main reason why people are in favour of this idea is because they are less likely to be in contact with foreigners who are not be able to speak their language. For instance, if people reside in a city where tourists are not visiting, they can feel as if it is unnecessary to learn another language. In addition, learning a language takes a lot of practice and studying which require the tremendous amount of time. As a result, it can be thought hard to learn a foreign language. Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that people should learn another language besides working or travelling. Furthermore, knowing another language enables people to understand the research that has been conducted in a foreing language. Unlike in the past, due to the internet, lots of information have been made available. Secondly, knowing a second language has many benefits to the brain. For instance, this learning process improves the neural connections in the brain, thus lowering the risk of diseases such as Alzheimer's Disease or dementia. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides and having considered both sides of the issue. I would argue that learning another language improves the academic performance, and the likelihood of certain diseases. I agree other reasons why a person should learn a language.
In the modern era, globalization has become an essential part of everyday life. It is
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often
said by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of travelling or working,
however
, others claim that there are more
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reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and express my support for the latter view.

Generally
speaking,
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that travelling or working overseas are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Perhaps, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
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because
they are less likely to be in contact with foreigners who are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to speak their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
, if
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people
reside in a city where tourists are not visiting, they can feel as if it is unnecessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
In addition
,
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learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practice and studying which require the tremendous amount of time.
As a result
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
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learn
a foreign language.

Despite these arguments, there is
also
a case for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
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people
should
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learn
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
besides
working or travelling.
Furthermore
, knowing another
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language
enables
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people
to understand the research that has
been conducted
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreing
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language
. Unlike in the past, due to the internet, lots of information have
been made
available.
Secondly
, knowing a second
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language
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the brain.
For instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the neural connections in the brain,
thus
lowering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases such as Alzheimer's Disease or dementia.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides and having considered both sides of the issue. I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the academic performance, and the likelihood of certain diseases. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why a person should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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