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People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. v. 3
Nowadays, advertisement played a vital role in people's life. While some population argued that it has a disadvantage support on people's life. In my opinion, I completely agree with this and this essay will discuss the reasons. Firstly, advertisement modified the mind of people with a lot of skims which progress a negative impact on the heart of people. In other words, people all time wants to buy something in a short amount of money, but when they saw the lot of offers on the advertisement they became interested and spend a lot of money from their job salaries. By the result of that, they cannot service the other issues of families as well as own problems which are popular issues these days. For example, my younger brother spends his salary for buying a mobile phone which gives him another phone free, but when he was suffering on health disease he cannot go to doctor only for money problems. To summarize, people should not focus on advertisement for a well calculated happier life. Secondly, there is a lot of fake advertisement for cheat with people on the internet which are destroying the belief of people in advertising. In short, fake advertisement on the social sites offering some fake skims and people are attracting on these as well as spending a lot of money. Then the skimmers collect the money and close the advertisement which they created on the internet. For instance, my cousin Faruk recently showed me an offer which was studying in Canada for free as well as without IELTS, I advised him that it is a fake offer, although, interestingly, while he spends around one thousand dollars on the site of the skimmer, the website got closed. To repeat in short, some fake advertisement decreasing the trust of people in advertising which is another negative reason. To conclude, advertisement has some benefit issues. Although, I personally completely agree that the advertisement has a negative impact on the life of the population.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
played a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
population argued that it has a disadvantage support on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and this essay will discuss the reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
modified the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of skims which progress a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the heart of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all time wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something in a short amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of offers on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
they became interested and spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their job salaries. By the result of that, they cannot service the other issues of families as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems which are popular issues these days.
For example
, my younger brother spends his salary for buying a mobile phone which gives him another phone free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when he was suffering on health disease he cannot go to doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
problems.
To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
calculated happier life.

Secondly
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
for cheat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the internet which are destroying the belief of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in advertising. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on the social sites offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
skims and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracting on these as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Then the skimmers collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and close the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which they created on the internet.
For instance
, my cousin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Faruk
recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
me an offer which was studying in Canada for free as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as without IELTS, I advised him that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
offer, although,
interestingly
, while he spends around one thousand dollars on the site of the skimmer, the website
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
closed. To repeat in short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
decreasing the trust of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in advertising which is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reason.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefit issues.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, I
personally
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the life of the population.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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