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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language in in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language in in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1
These days, a lot of people say that becoming a multilingual is only beneficial if you want to work or study in a foreign country, but others believe that there are more reasons to learn a new language. I agree with the second statement, and will discuss both view points. Learning a language is crucial if people want to study or work in other countries. If people want to get a job at a company or study in a university, which is located in a different part of the world, they must learn the primary language of that business or school. Without it, their chances of getting a job or an admission are close to zero. Therefore, companies, such as the British Council and IDP were created to test peoples knowledge of English, and those who pass get permission to live, work, and study in the English speaking countries. In addition, Learning a new language can help us maintain a world peace. In today's world, there are a lot of cultural misunderstandings happing in every part of the world, which sometimes lead to not only racist remarks but also a war. By grasping a new tongue, people will understand each other on a new level, which could, potentially, stop all the wars. For instance, western countries used to make fun of Indians for their beliefs; however, after learning their language, they understood why they had such assumptions. In conclusion, I disagree that learning languages benefit only our personal and professional lives. I believe, as discussed in the 3rd paragraph, it has the power to make the world a better place to live in.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that becoming
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a multilingual
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial if you want to work or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a foreign country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others believe that there are more reasons to learn a
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second statement, and will discuss both view points.

Learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is crucial if
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people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or work in other countries. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a university, which
is located
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of that business or school. Without it, their chances of getting a job or an admission are close to zero.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as the British Council and IDP
were created
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
knowledge of English, and those who pass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, work, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
countries.

In addition
, Learning a
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cultural misunderstandings
Possible spelling mistake found.
happing
in every part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
racist remarks
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but
also
a war. By grasping a
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new
tongue,
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people
will understand each other on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
level, which could,
potentially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
all the wars.
For instance
, western countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of Indians for their beliefs;
however
, after learning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they understood why they had such assumptions.

In conclusion
, I disagree that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
our personal and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I believe, as discussed in the 3rd paragraph, it has the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language in in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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