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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 7
In the modern era, the are field will be transform, such as transformation of model business from small to large enterprise. In several countries, due to improvement and vast expansion of supermarkets, a plethora number of tiny local business can not compete with that. Several people argue that will be deterioration for local business and at the end it will be closed. In this essay, I believe that development could be threat for them. First, supermarket have a large number of customer and they have more convenience for shopping. Due to of that, people have tendency to choose supermarket than private store or small enterprise. For instance, mall will provide numerous of things that will not provide by local communities enterprise. The effect, people will not come and with slow time, their business will be collapse and death. in other hands, several people have a tendency to agree giant place for shopping that should be developed due to of tax that will pay to nation. On the contrary, it will be make profitable for one part and the other part of people will not have large number effect for their economic. The profit not only for entrepreneur, will be enjoyed for local people yet. In conclusion, we need to emphasize local community to improve their life with soaring their profit form their business.
In the modern era,
the are
field will be
transform
, such as transformation of model
business
from
small
to large enterprise. In several countries, due to improvement and vast expansion of supermarkets, a plethora number of tiny
local
business
can not compete with that. Several
people
argue that will be deterioration for
local
business
and at the
end
it will
be closed
. In this essay, I believe that development could be threat for them.

First
, supermarket have
a large number of
customer and
they have more convenience for shopping. Due to of that,
people
have tendency to choose supermarket than private store or
small
enterprise.
For instance
, mall will provide numerous of things that will not provide by
local
communities
enterprise. The effect,
people
will not
come
and with slow time, their
business
will be collapse and death.

in
other hands, several
people
have a tendency to
agree
giant place for shopping that should
be developed
due to of tax that will pay to nation.
On the contrary
, it will be
make
profitable for one part and the other part of
people
will not have large number effect for their economic. The profit not
only
for entrepreneur, will
be enjoyed
for
local
people
yet
.

In conclusion
, we need to emphasize
local
community to
improve
their life with soaring their profit form their
business
.
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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