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Some people say that the most successful organization is mainly because the managers and workers can communicate well with each other. However, other people claim that there are more important factors the make an organization successful. Discuss both point of views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that the most successful organization is mainly because the managers and workers can communicate well with each other. However, other people claim that there are more important factors the make an organization successful. v. 1
Some people claim that if there is a good communication in the workplace between managers and employees, this can lead to a successful organization. While others argue that other factors such as proper training for employees' career development and other office facilities can contribute to be successful within the companies. In this essay, I will discuss both points of these views with relevant examples. On the one hand, the most important factor is the good relationship between managers and workers in order to be successful. The foremost important factor is having an open relationship with each other because a poor one like unclear instructions about deadlines and details of worksheets given by their supervisors can be misunderstood by employees. As a result, this can impact on the developments in this area. In addition to this, if the managers act with mutual respect and understanding with workers, for instance, priding about their hard work in meetings and being a good listener is another essential matter within organization. On the other hand, other factors such as giving proper trainings for employees' career development contribute to be more productive. For example, in this technology age, every worker has to be adaptive in using sophisticated devices like computer and other working related one. Moreover, providing firm facilites such as air-conditioned rooms and other comfortable gadgets also play a vital role in successful organization. In conclusion, from my point of view, although other factors are important to become a successful organization, it is essential to have a good relationship between managers and employees to have positive outcomes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication in the workplace between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and employees, this can lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
organization. While others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as proper training for employees' career development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
office facilities can contribute to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In this essay, I will discuss both points of these views with relevant examples.

On the one hand, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and workers in order to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. The foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is having an open relationship with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a poor one like unclear instructions about deadlines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of worksheets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their supervisors can be misunderstood by employees.
As a result
, this can impact on the developments in this area.
In addition
to this, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
act with mutual respect and understanding with workers,
for instance
, priding about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work in meetings and being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
listener is another essential matter within organization.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as giving proper trainings for employees' career development contribute to be more productive.
For example
, in this technology age, every worker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be adaptive in using sophisticated devices like computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
working related one.
Moreover
, providing firm
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilites
such as air-conditioned rooms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
comfortable gadgets
also
play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
organization.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
organization, it is essential to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and employees to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the most successful organization is mainly because the managers and workers can communicate well with each other. However, other people claim that there are more important factors the make an organization successful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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