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Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person Do you agree or disagree v.3

Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person v. 3
"Rome was not built in a day", this fits aptly in the context of education as the important factor in the development of a country. I strongly agree with this statement. Human is a social animal and it has learnt to behave and govern the society over the period of time. However, dangerous measures at some regions has created a society which has huge development gaps. For example, Syria is the location where children are not allowed to study and faces stringent rules imposed by the rulers. Finally, it faces issues like poverty and human trafficking. A nation can only grow if it has bright minds to govern it. In order to achieve this, it is necessary to impart them with the right kind of knowledge. Education helps one to learn about the basics and to apply it in real life. For example, A. P. J Abdul Kalam, a renowned scientist of India took a lot of pain in order to complete his studies and ended up launching the first missile mission for ISRO. Which not only made India one of the top space countries, but also helped it to reach new heights in the field of science and technology. It plays a vital role when it comes down to evaluating growth rates and harmony of a place. It helps one to understand the true nature of right and wrong. Leading to low crime rates, healthy and a safe environment. It is also observed that areas having higher rates of education are found to be secure for people residing there. To conclude, education is vital for the country's growth. This will not only help with the nation's rise, but will also make its residents satisfied with their life.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Rome was not built in a day
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, this fits
aptly
in the context of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the development of a country. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Human is a social animal and it has
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to behave and govern the society over the period of time.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
measures at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions has created a society which has huge development gaps.
For example
, Syria is the location where children are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study and faces stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
imposed by the rulers.
Finally
, it faces issues like poverty and human trafficking.

A nation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
grow if it has bright minds to govern it. In order to achieve this, it is necessary to impart them with the right kind of knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to learn about the basics and to apply it in real life.
For example
, A. P. J Abdul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalam
, a renowned scientist of India took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pain in order to complete his studies and ended up launching the
first
missile mission for ISRO. Which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made India one of the top space countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
it to reach new heights in the field of science and technology.

It plays a vital role when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
down to evaluating growth rates and harmony of a place. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to understand the true nature of right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Leading to low crime rates, healthy and a safe environment. It is
also
observed that areas having higher rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are found
to be secure for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing there.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is vital for the country's growth. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the nation's rise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
its residents satisfied with their life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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