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Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.9

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 9
There is no doubt that the internet has an immense influence on the people over the last few years. Technological advancements also contribute a lot in widespread usage of this technology. Some people argue that the internet provides fast, reliable and cheapest ways of communications. Others state that people become isolated and disconnected because of excessive use of the internet. I believe that the internet has undeniable benefits and it helps people to link with each other. The Internet provides different ways of communications, which are highly reliable and adoptable. Before the advent of the internet, people used other media of communication such as letters, phone calls etc. which cost them handsome amount and time. However, the internet gradually changed the ways the people communicate. Nowadays, everyone has mobile, laptop, tablet etc. and these devices are equipped with the internet that makes them in touch with their peer group using social networking applications. It is often seen that people are becoming unsocial due to the internet. They are relying more on technology than their friends and relatives. They consider communicating over the internet is sufficient and do not like to bother meeting each other. Sometimes individuals living in same premises prefer to talk using cell phones and electronic gadgets rather than talking directly. Because of the internet we can talk and keep in touch with people which might have been impossible otherwise. The professional and business communication greatly depends on the internet and because of the widespread usages of the internet, we can stay in touch with people we care. To sum up, I believe that advantages of internet overweigh its disadvantages. The Internet makes this world as a global village by removing the barrier of distance. Economical ways of communication advocate people to talk more freely without worrying about cost. According to a recent survey, about 70 percent of the world is using the internet for communication. This survey justifies the importance of the internet in our lives.
There is no doubt that the internet has an immense influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the last few years. Technological advancements
also
contribute a lot in widespread usage of this technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the internet provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, reliable and cheapest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of communications. Others state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become isolated and disconnected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet. I believe that the internet has undeniable benefits and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to link with each other.

The Internet provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of communications, which are
highly
reliable and adoptable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the advent of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
other media of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
such as letters, phone calls etc. which cost them handsome amount and time.
However
, the internet
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate. Nowadays, everyone has mobile, laptop, tablet etc. and these devices
are equipped
with the internet that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them in touch with their peer group using social networking applications.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming unsocial due to the internet. They are relying more on technology than their friends and relatives. They consider communicating over the internet is sufficient and do not like to bother meeting each other.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
individuals living in same premises prefer to talk using cell phones and electronic gadgets
rather
than talking
directly
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the internet we can talk and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which might have been impossible
otherwise
. The professional and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
greatly
depends on the internet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the widespread usages of the internet, we can stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we care.

To sum up, I believe that advantages of internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
its disadvantages. The Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this world as a global village by removing the barrier of distance. Economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk more
freely
without worrying about cost. According to a recent survey, about 70 percent of the world is using the internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. This survey justifies the importance of the internet in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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