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What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge. v.1

What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge. v. 1
The survival period of the individuals has increased in the recent time. Some people believe that this trend has positive effects while others refute this claim. In this essay, both the viewpoints will be critiqued before reaching a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, there are groups of people who consider long life has benefits on the individuals and the society. The main reason for believing this is that the society is able to utilise the experience of the matured people for the growth of the economy of the country. Furthermore, this group of grown-ups can help the young people to take mature decisions in their personal as well as professional life. Thus, the positive implications of rising in the life span of the people on the masses and the society are clear. On the other hand, some consider the extended life of the humans can have numerous disadvantages. One main drawback will be the swelling in the world's population since the death rate will be declined. As a consequence of this, the pressure on the local resources will be increased and still some people will not be able to receive the required resources. In addition, with the increase in the numbers of the aged population, there will also increase in the responsibilities of the young generation and thereby, affect their career and family life. Therefore, the negative impacts of the increased life period of the people are difficult to debunk. After analysing both the views, it is felt that for the well-being of the individuals and the society, the life span should not be increased beyond a certain limit.
The survival period of the individuals has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
in the recent time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects while others refute this claim. In this essay, both the viewpoints will
be critiqued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, there are groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has benefits on the individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The main reason for believing this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is able to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the experience of the matured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the growth of the economy of the country.
Furthermore
, this group of grown-ups can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take mature decisions in their personal
as well
as professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications of rising in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the masses and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the humans can have numerous disadvantages. One main drawback will be the swelling in the world's population since the death rate will
be declined
. As a consequence of this, the pressure on the local resources will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
and
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not be able to receive the required resources.
In addition
, with the increase in the numbers of the aged population, there will
also
increase in the responsibilities of the young generation and thereby, affect their career and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
period of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are difficult to debunk.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both the views, it
is felt
that for the well-being of the individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
beyond a certain limit.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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