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Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.8

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 8
It's quite interesting as well as amusing at the same time, discussing this topic. If we remember back in the 80th, we still very much attached to a conventional letter or postal mail. It took weeks even months before a single letter arrived at a destination. But in the 90th, the way people communicate accelerated to a profound degree. The Internet not only allowed people to send and receive messages across countries in the speed of light, but it also managed to cut the expensive cost which previously part of communication constraint. In present days, even home telephone devices are collecting dusk. Smartphone, tablet, laptop and notebooks had overtaken those "primaeval" devices. People found that application like Whatsapp, Blackberry messenger, ease their way to interact with each other. In fact, text messaging took its turn to become obsolete. We also shouldn't neglect the power of social media, which escalated as a powerful tool for political communication. Current American President, who once remarked this, had successfully gained followers to help him won the presidential election. But the internet has several negative sides as well. Instant Messenger, for instance, had been pointed as a scapegoat for making youngster became more "autistic" due to its nature in physical inactivity. When distance no longer an issue in interaction and having gadget in hand, it is all that it takes to start mingling with your peers. Not to mention, these days news related to social media's crime scene had brought horror to certain people. It also pledged guilty as the predisposition factor for increasing numbers of infidelity and divorce among the couple. So as the internet has brought a lot of advantages to human civilisation and had triumphantly change the way we communicate, the cons inevitably followed as its consequences. Thus, we all shall take precaution with it.
It's quite interesting
as well
as amusing at the same time, discussing this topic. If we remember back in the 80th, we
still
very
much attached to a conventional letter or postal mail. It took weeks even months
before
a single letter arrived at a destination.
But
in the 90th, the way
people
communicate accelerated to a profound degree. The Internet not
only
allowed
people
to
send
and receive messages across countries in the speed of light,
but
it
also
managed to
cut
the expensive cost which previously part of communication constraint.

In present days, even home telephone devices are collecting dusk. Smartphone, tablet, laptop and notebooks had overtaken those
"
primaeval
"
devices.
People
found that application like
Whatsapp
, Blackberry messenger,
ease
their way to interact with each other. In fact, text messaging took its turn to become obsolete. We
also
shouldn't neglect the power of social media, which escalated as a powerful tool for political communication.
Current
American President, who once remarked this, had
successfully
gained followers to
help
him won the presidential election.

But
the internet has several
negative
sides
as well
. Instant Messenger,
for instance
, had
been pointed
as a scapegoat for making youngster became more
"
autistic
"
due to its nature in physical inactivity. When distance no longer an issue in interaction and having gadget in hand, it is all that it takes to
start
mingling with your peers. Not to mention, these
days
news related to social media's crime scene had brought horror to certain
people
. It
also
pledged guilty as the predisposition factor for increasing numbers of infidelity and divorce among the couple.

So
as the internet has brought
a lot of
advantages to human
civilisation
and had
triumphantly
change
the way we communicate, the cons
inevitably
followed as its consequences.
Thus
, we all shall take precaution with it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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