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Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.7

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 7
Over the last two decades, the internet has completely revolutionized our means of communication. Some people believe that this technical advancement has brought people from different parts of the world together; while others reject this idea. I believe that online connectivity has in fact enabled people to stay effortlessly connected with one another, regardless of their geographical location. Primarily, I am confident that in terms of speed, internet came out as an unprecedented alternative to traditional means of communication. In other words, it has empowered us to break the barriers of delayed means of communication using old mailing delivery system. To illustrate, a person can now send any official or unofficial document or text in any part of the world within seconds; this only seemed as a dream with old means of communication. Hence world wide web is realization of our dream of instant connection. Besides time, I believe that the effort and cost required in initiating inter or intra country communication have drastically reduced. A person does not have to travel across the border to get in touch with their love ones. This has helped in saving both money and time spent in travelling for the sole purpose of meeting others. For example, an online video call facilitates quick connection with a person sitting in any part of the world. To conclude, the internet has transformed the world into a global village. Needless to say, the benefits of the internet in facilitating fast, easy and economical means of communication cannot be denied. However, in order to reap maximum benefits from this powerful medium of communication, we, as a global nation, should ensure constructive use of this technology.
Over the last two decades, the internet has completely revolutionized our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this technical advancement has brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
together; while others reject this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I believe that online connectivity has in fact enabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay
effortlessly
connected with one another, regardless of their geographical location.

Primarily
, I am confident that in terms of speed, internet came out as an unprecedented alternative to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
In other words
, it has empowered us to break the barriers of delayed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
mailing delivery system. To illustrate, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
any official or unofficial document or text in any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
within seconds; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
seemed as a dream with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
is realization of our dream of instant connection.

Besides
time, I believe that the effort and cost required in initiating inter or
Possible spelling mistake found.
intra
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
have
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. A person does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel across the border to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with their
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in saving both money and time spent in travelling for the sole purpose of meeting others.
For example
, an online video call facilitates quick connection with a person sitting in any part of the world.

To conclude
, the internet has transformed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a global village. Needless to say, the benefits of the internet in facilitating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, easy and economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
cannot
be denied
.
However
, in order to reap maximum benefits from this powerful medium of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, we, as a global nation, should ensure constructive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this technology.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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