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In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v.3

In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 3
Most of the countries considered the period of 18 as an age for becoming citizen and allow the youngster to take responsibilities. However, some of the nations are still considering the lifetime of 18 as an immature stage and restrict the teenagers to start taking decision. In my opinion, the 18 years is the perfect time to give freedom for the youngsters. The following essay state points to support my opinion. Firstly, in the modern world, the teenagers are getting more exposure to the world with the help of the internet. Daily they get the live updates about social changes and they are getting the opportunity to analyse the topic. Nowadays, the schools are encouraging the students to know the latest technologies and also teaching soft skills to achieve a good job. All these things, makes a youngster think and act better before they are crossing the secondary school level. For example, in a recent survey, conducted by the Kerala authority in a secondary education students, reveals that most of the kid's intellectual and the IQ are above the average and they are ready to be independent. Secondly, it has been observed that, the kid's body has started showing changes in the hormone's secretion time. In the past, most of the hormones, controlling the physical changes of a body was secreting after the age of 18 and now it happens before 15 years. Moreover, this clearly expedites the process of becoming an audit with respect to the physical changes. For instance, in Kerala, most of the girls are getting the menstrual cycle before the period of 14 and they are even ready to take decision of their life. In conclusion, in my opinion, the year of 18 is an acceptable period to consider the children as the adult as they started showing the signs of the adult from the age of 15.
Most of the countries considered the period of 18 as an age for becoming citizen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the youngster to take responsibilities.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
nations are
still
considering the lifetime of 18 as an immature stage and restrict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking decision. In my opinion, the 18 years is the perfect time to give freedom for the youngsters. The following essay state points to support my opinion.

Firstly
, in the modern world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are getting more exposure to the world with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet. Daily they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
updates about social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changes and
they are getting the opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the topic. Nowadays, the schools are encouraging the students to know the latest technologies and
also
teaching soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. All these things,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and act better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are crossing the secondary school level.
For example
, in a recent survey, conducted by the Kerala authority in a secondary education students, reveals that most of the kid's intellectual and the IQ are above the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
average and
they are ready to be independent.

Secondly
, it has
been observed
that, the kid's body has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the hormone's secretion time. In the past, most of the hormones, controlling the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
of a body was secreting after the age of 18 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
15 years.
Moreover
, this
clearly
expedites the process of becoming an audit with respect to the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
For instance
, in Kerala, most of the girls are getting the menstrual cycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the period of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
14 and
they are even ready to take decision of their life.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, the year of 18 is an acceptable period to consider the children as the adult as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
showing the signs of the adult from the age of 15.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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