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Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. To what extent do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.3

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. v. 3
Science and technology have revolutionized the mode of contact. It is argued by many individuals that the internet is closing the communication gap between people. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement because you can contact someone in the other part of the globe within a second by contacting online or emailing them. In the world before the internet, it used to be a hassle calling anyone in the other part of the world. You needed to have a different connection and had to wait for minutes or hours before the line went through. However, now, you can just unlock your phone and call anyone online through so many different applications, which also has options of video-calling so that you can see your loved one live, which gets connected within a blink of a second. For example, WhatsApp allows you to call everyone that has an active network. Therefore, people feel closer to each other today than before. Sending a postal used to be the only source of sending a document in the past. Nowadays, electronic mailing has made life so much easier. You can email anyone, anywhere and anything by just clicking a button and even get a reply without having to wait for a long time. To illustrate, most of the business is now run through emailing. Hence, the web, allows people to communicate easily through messaging electronically. In conclusion, some people argue that the internet is minimizing the distance between people. In my opinion, I completely agree with it because calling, even video-calling and emailing has made individuals sitting in the different parts of the globe so close to each other.
Science and technology have revolutionized the mode of contact. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals that the internet is closing the communication gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can contact someone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the globe within a second by contacting online or emailing them.

In the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the internet, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a hassle calling anyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the world. You needed to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
connection and had to wait for minutes or hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the line went
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
unlock your phone and call anyone online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
applications, which
also
has options of video-calling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
connected within a blink of a second.
For example
, WhatsApp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to call everyone that has an active network.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Sending a postal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of sending a document in the past. Nowadays, electronic mailing has made life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much easier. You can email anyone, anywhere and anything by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
clicking a button and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a reply without having to wait for a long time. To illustrate, most of the business is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
emailing.
Hence
, the web,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
messaging
electronically
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the internet is minimizing the distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
calling, even video-calling and emailing has made individuals sitting in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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