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During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically. This has caused problems such as pollution and overcrowded roads. Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them? v.2

During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically. This has caused problems such as pollution and overcrowded roads. Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them? v. 2
The car has been considered a symbol of wealth. The usage of cars rose significantly over the last hundred years, which has resulted in issues such as traffic jams and dirtiness. This essay will discuss the reasons of buying vehicles and necessary measures to hold people from purchasing them. Most people like to commute in their own automobiles, because the transport system is not up to the mark. It’s easier to travel on their own, at their preferred hour, instead of waiting for a long time for a bus or a train. In addition, travelling in a public transportation can also be difficult and cumbersome, especially during the rush hours. For example, you can hardly find a place to sit in New York City’s subway during working hours. Therefore, people prefer to get their own mode of convincing to save time and increase comfort level. However, certain steps need to be taken to decrease the pollution and jams caused by the increase in the numbers of cars. Firstly, decreasing the public transport charges and providing a better service can shift people towards its usage. Additionally, increasing the tax on the cars, which is considered a luxury, will make them more expensive and hard for the people to purchase them. To illustrate, almost 1. 5 million citizens travel by the subway system in Japan. In conclusion, pollution and road congestion has increased in the last century because of the rise in the use of automobiles. This essay discussed the main reasons people opt to buy cars, including saving time and more comfort. It also suggested the solutions to stop individuals from buying them, which are twofold: upgrading the public transport service and increase prices.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
been considered
a symbol of wealth. The usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
rose
significantly
over the last hundred years, which has resulted in issues such as traffic jams and dirtiness. This essay will discuss the reasons of buying vehicles and necessary measures to hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from purchasing them.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to commute in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
automobiles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the transport system is not up to the mark. It’s easier to travel on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, at their preferred hour,
instead
of waiting for a long time for a bus or a train.
In addition
, travelling in a public transportation can
also
be difficult and cumbersome,
especially
during the rush hours.
For example
, you can hardly find a place to sit in New York City’s subway during working hours.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mode of convincing
Did you mean "saving"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to save
time and increase comfort level.

However
, certain steps need to
be taken
to decrease the pollution and jams caused by the increase in the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Firstly
, decreasing the public transport charges and providing a better service can shift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards its usage.
Additionally
, increasing the tax on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which
is considered
a luxury, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them. To illustrate, almost 1. 5 million citizens travel by the subway system in Japan.

In conclusion
, pollution and road congestion has increased in the last century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rise in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of automobiles. This essay discussed the main reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, including saving time and more comfort. It
also
suggested the solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
individuals from buying them, which are twofold: upgrading the public transport service and increase prices.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically. This has caused problems such as pollution and overcrowded roads. Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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