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The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend? v.1

The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend? v. 1
Over the recent decade, a growing number of children have become obese. This essay will shed light on potential reasons for this trend, including increasing consumption of fast food and sedentary lifestyle and also highlight some possible consequences including health risks. To begin with, the obvious reason for the increasing rate of obese children is that they tend to take a large portion of unhealthy food in their daily diet. For instance, this food includes chips, pizza and soft-drinks having a high amount of calories, fat and sugar. Over consuming of such eatables would undoubtedly increase one's weight. Moreover, the children's lifestyle has become less these days. For example, watching televisions and playing video games for a long time has made them "couch potatoes". Thus, it has been seen that intake of junk and sedentary activities are two minor causes of children's obesity. In addition, there are some negative effects to children becoming overweight. First, children may catch chronic disease such as 'diabetes' which was used to be uncommonly found in the young age. Besides, it's treatment includes a certain injection daily. Second, according to medical science, fat children paradoxically have a low immunity. For instance, they can be the first one's to catch cold or fever when the weather changes. Therefore, it goes without saying that gaining weight can lead to several health problems. To recapitulate, this essay has illustrated that children's obesity is mainly due to their calorie-rich diet and inactive lifestyle. Furthermore, it brings a variety of health disorder in the early stage of their lives.
Over the recent decade, a growing number of
children
have become obese. This essay will shed light on potential reasons for this trend, including increasing consumption of
fast
food and sedentary lifestyle and
also
highlight
some
possible
consequences including
health
risks
.

To
begin
with, the obvious reason for the increasing rate of obese
children
is that they tend to take a large portion of unhealthy food in their daily diet.
For instance
, this food includes chips, pizza and soft-drinks having a high amount of calories,
fat
and sugar. Over consuming of such eatables would
undoubtedly
increase one's weight.
Moreover
, the children's lifestyle has become less these days.
For example
, watching televisions and playing video games for a long time has made them
"
couch potatoes
"
.
Thus
, it has been
seen
that intake of junk and sedentary activities are two minor causes of children's obesity.

In addition
, there are
some
negative
effects to
children
becoming overweight.
First
,
children
may catch chronic disease such as 'diabetes' which was
used
to be
uncommonly
found in the young age.
Besides
, it's treatment includes a certain injection daily. Second, according to medical science,
fat
children
paradoxically
have a low immunity.
For instance
, they can be the
first
one's to catch
cold
or fever when the weather
changes
.
Therefore
, it goes without saying that gaining weight can lead to several health problems.

To recapitulate, this essay has illustrated that children's obesity is
mainly
due to their calorie-rich diet and inactive lifestyle.
Furthermore
, it brings a variety of health disorder in the early stage of their
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The % of overweight children in Weston countries has increased by 20% in last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of disturbing trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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