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Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.1

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v. 1
Since its invention, the Internet has affected the way people communicate. Some argue that its influence on the way we communicate is largely negative. However, I believe that the Internet has greatly increased the possibilities for interaction. Some people say that even though so much information is available through the Internet, nobody is really processing all this information. Nevertheless, everyone would have to agree that the Internet appears to make communication between people much easier. In the past, it was difficult to find out information about organisations and current events. However, in modern society most professional organisations have their own websites and events are constantly updated on the Internet. This has meant that receiving information has become a lot easier. Before the Internet age, the only way people could communicate in writing with others was by writing and sending letters. Now, with the invention of internet-based email, communication is fast and cheap. Taking advantage of this development means that people can keep in touch on a more regular basis. Although this has meant that users now spend long periods of time in front of their computer screens and may not be involved in as much spoken communication as before, I would argue that the Internet has actually increased the amount of communication between people – it is only that the means of communication has changed from more spoken language to written communication. In summary, it can be seen that the Internet has had a positive effect, giving people the opportunity to communicate more easily and frequently with others.
Since its invention, the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that its influence on the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
However
, I believe that the Internet has
greatly
increased the possibilities for interaction.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available through the Internet, nobody is
really
processing all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Nevertheless
, everyone would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the Internet appears to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much easier. In the past, it was difficult to find out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
However
, in modern society most professional
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
websites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are
constantly
updated on the Internet. This has meant that receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has become a lot easier.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the Internet age, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
in writing with others was by writing and sending letters.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, with the invention of internet-based email,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
. Taking advantage of this development means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch on a more regular basis. Although this has meant that users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
spend long periods of time in front of their computer screens and may not
be involved
in as much spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I would argue that the Internet has actually increased the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that the means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from more spoken language to written communication.

In summary, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the Internet has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
more
easily
and
frequently
with others.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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