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If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. Do you agree or disagree with this? v.1

If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. with this? v. 1
In recent times, it has been seen that companies use different mediums such as Media, Newspapers, Hoardings and many more for advertisement of their products. Some products are well known among people and they do not give a second thought before buying it. A few people believe that, for such products, promotion through advertisement is not compulsory and it is just for enjoyment of viewers. However, I completely deny this and do not concur with the notion that advertising is merely for entertainment purpose. The most important consideration is companies spend a huge amount of their revenue on advertisements just to make people aware of their product. This is because, when people get to know the new product in market, only then, they will be able to compare it with other products and buy it. For instance, a recent research by advertising authorities showed that advertisement results in higher turnovers. However, some individuals assume that advertisements are not required if it is a known brand and these are just for fun. But in my view, advertisements are made in such a way that people can remind themselves of same product, when they actually visit market, which they have seen on television. In addition to, generally most of the people do not know which brand they like. They do not have their own opinion and their opinion is driven by the latest trending advertisement. For example, a recent study revealed that products with advertisement are on higher demand as compared to the ones which are not at all promoted. To conclude, advertisement is a good way to introduced new launches and also contribute towards entertainment of people. But we can not consider that these are only for viewer's entertainment because no company will find the budget just for other's fun unless they benefit from it.
In recent times, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mediums such as Media, Newspapers, Hoardings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more for
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are well known among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they do not give a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying it. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, promotion through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is not compulsory and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for enjoyment of viewers.
However
, I completely deny this and do not concur with the notion that advertising is
merely
for entertainment purpose.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spend a huge amount of their revenue on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in market,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then, they will be able to compare it with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
For instance
, a recent research by advertising authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
results in higher turnovers.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are not required if it is a known brand and these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are made
in such a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can remind themselves of same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, when they actually visit market, which they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on television.
In addition
to,
generally
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know which brand they like. They do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and their opinion
is driven
by the latest trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For example
, a recent study revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are on higher demand as compared to the ones which are not at all promoted.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to introduced new launches and
also
contribute towards entertainment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we can not consider that these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for viewer's entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will find the budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for other's fun unless they benefit from it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. with this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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