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Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v.1

Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v. 1
The olden days people never bothered about being fashionable or cared about their appearance as the families were strict and were always focusing their children in either education if a boy and girl it either has to be working at home or getting married. Firstly, the main reason is people during olden times were never much aware of appearance like be it clothes, make-up etc. But the present generation gets attracted by the advertisements given in t. v. or by some sort of media which convinces them to buy so that they look good among others. Like for example, a fairness advertisement is given by a big film star and though the person never bothers about his appearance it is the star who comes in the t. v. so he likes to buy it and he also asks everyone to buy among his friends so such kind of business tactics are used and fool people in buying products. Secondly, one of the reason is being jealous seeing the other person dressed well and beautiful for example in an office if a lady employee has a good fashion sense and the rest of them feel jealous that they want to look more beautiful than her so they try to compete and appear more fashionable than her. One must understand that appearance doesn' t makes a good person but a kind heart does. The main reason for the large chain of beauty saloons is everyone wants to look good than the other person they want to compare who is more beautiful. One more reason is also that currently people have become so much mad about showing their status just by showing their fashion sense and appearance by spending lot of money on saloons, shopping etc. In the end, all that goes vain is their money just by spending so much and conscious about body and good looks. Even the social media like for example a famous star purchases some nice brand shoes and posts it online people gets attracted to it and they start purchasing it without even thinking whether it is affordable and does it really useful for us other than showing people that you spent so much on them. To sum up, i would agree that people should realize that looks and fashion are temporary and instead of spending so money on them better use them for a good cause which could help other people
The olden days
people
never bothered about being fashionable or cared about their
appearance
as the families were strict and were always focusing their children in either education if a boy and girl it either
has to
be working at home or getting married.

Firstly
, the main
reason
is
people
during olden times were never
much
aware of
appearance
like be it clothes,
make
-up etc.
But
the present generation
gets
attracted by the advertisements
given
in t. v. or by
some
sort of media which convinces them to
buy
so
that they
look
good
among others. Like
for example
, a fairness advertisement is
given
by a
big
film star and though the
person
never bothers about his
appearance
it is the star who
comes
in the t. v.
so
he likes to
buy
it and
he
also
asks everyone to
buy
among his friends
so
such kind of business tactics are
used
and fool
people
in buying products.

Secondly
, one of the
reason
is being jealous seeing the
other
person
dressed well and
beautiful
for example
in an office if a lady employee has a
good
fashion sense and the rest of them feel jealous that they want to
look
more
beautiful
than her
so
they try to compete and appear more fashionable than her. One
must
understand that
appearance
doesn&
#039; t
makes
a
good
person
but
a kind heart does. The main
reason
for the large chain of beauty saloons is everyone wants to
look
good
than the
other
person
they want to compare who is more
beautiful
. One more
reason
is
also
that
currently
people
have become
so
much
mad about showing their status
just
by showing their fashion sense and
appearance
by spending
lot of
money on saloons, shopping etc. In the
end
, all that goes vain is their money
just
by spending
so
much
and conscious about body and
good
looks
. Even the social media like
for example
a
famous
star
purchases
some
nice brand shoes and posts it online
people
gets
attracted to
it and
they
start
purchasing it without even thinking whether it is affordable and does it
really
useful for us
other
than showing
people
that you spent
so
much
on them.

To sum up,
i
would
agree
that
people
should realize that
looks
and fashion are temporary and
instead
of spending
so
money on them better
use
them for a
good
cause which could
help
other
people
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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