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Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v.1

Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v. 1
The olden days people never bothered about being fashionable or cared about their appearance as the families were strict and were always focusing their children in either education if a boy and girl it either has to be working at home or getting married. Firstly, the main reason is people during olden times were never much aware of appearance like be it clothes, make-up etc. But the present generation gets attracted by the advertisements given in t. v. or by some sort of media which convinces them to buy so that they look good among others. Like for example, a fairness advertisement is given by a big film star and though the person never bothers about his appearance it is the star who comes in the t. v. so he likes to buy it and he also asks everyone to buy among his friends so such kind of business tactics are used and fool people in buying products. Secondly, one of the reason is being jealous seeing the other person dressed well and beautiful for example in an office if a lady employee has a good fashion sense and the rest of them feel jealous that they want to look more beautiful than her so they try to compete and appear more fashionable than her. One must understand that appearance doesn' t makes a good person but a kind heart does. The main reason for the large chain of beauty saloons is everyone wants to look good than the other person they want to compare who is more beautiful. One more reason is also that currently people have become so much mad about showing their status just by showing their fashion sense and appearance by spending lot of money on saloons, shopping etc. In the end, all that goes vain is their money just by spending so much and conscious about body and good looks. Even the social media like for example a famous star purchases some nice brand shoes and posts it online people gets attracted to it and they start purchasing it without even thinking whether it is affordable and does it really useful for us other than showing people that you spent so much on them. To sum up, i would agree that people should realize that looks and fashion are temporary and instead of spending so money on them better use them for a good cause which could help other people
The olden days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never bothered about being fashionable or cared about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
as the families were strict and were always focusing their children in either education if a boy and girl it either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be working at home or getting married.

Firstly
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during olden times were never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
like be it clothes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the present generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
attracted by the advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in t. v. or by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of media which convinces them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
among others. Like
for example
, a fairness advertisement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
film star and though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
never bothers about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
it is the star who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the t. v.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he
also
asks everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
among his friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such kind of business tactics are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and fool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in buying products.

Secondly
, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is being jealous seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
dressed well and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
for example
in an office if a lady employee has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
fashion sense and the rest of them feel jealous that they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
than her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they try to compete and appear more fashionable than her. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a kind heart does. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the large chain of beauty saloons is everyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
good
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
they want to compare who is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. One more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
also
that
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
mad about showing their status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by showing their fashion sense and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
by spending
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money on saloons, shopping etc. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, all that goes vain is their money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
and conscious about body and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
. Even the social media like
for example
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
star
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nice brand shoes and posts it online
Did you mean "peoples"?
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
attracted to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
purchasing it without even thinking whether it is affordable and does it
really
useful for us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that you spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
on them.

To sum up,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
and fashion are temporary and
instead
of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
money on them better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
cause which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Gone are the days, people were no appearance curious but now a days, a major section of society more fashion aware due to several reasons. the ever large number of beauty saloons testifies this statement. i also agree with this view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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