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Essay: Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while other people think that other countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views, and give your opinion. v.1

Essay: Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while other people think that other countries will lose their national identities as a result. v. 1
There are conflicting views in terms of whether the growth in global trade activities and cultural interactions among countries is advantageous, or such development is the culprit behind the degradation of cultural identity in many countries. On the one hand, many people think that national identity can disappear if cultural and business bonding among countries are strengthened. This is because the constant stream of marketing campaigns by international firms has led to the dominance of foreign eating habits and fashion trends, whereas indigenous lifestyles and languages become less favorable among young generations. Therefore, they could try to imitate those foreign cultures and languages blindly and change their traditional ways of life. Thus, a large number of minority languages are on the edge of extinction as their people prefer to communicate in widely used languages like English or Chinese. Taking a look back in the history of humankind, plenty of distinct civilizations are assimilated and vanished, starting with the loss of their own languages. On the other hand, numerous individuals have a belief that the ever-increasing in cross-cultural communication and international economic cooperation is a beneficial process. They presume that the globalization has boosted economic development and created a better intercultural understanding on a global scale. Firstly, this helps people all over the world purchase and sell products at a competitive price, which could lead to promoting productivity and improving the economy. It can also generate more employment opportunities for locals. Secondly, culture exchange allows people to have more contacts with others from different cultural backgrounds, which could eliminate misunderstandings between countries. Therefore, conflicts can be effectively avoided, encouraging a harmonious world. From my point of view, both arguments are accurate reflections about the possible consequences of the growing economic and cultural interactions among nations. It boosts economic integration and speeds up modernization but also creates tensions between global culture and a country’s national identity. Therefore, we should take the initiative in fighting to protect each nation’s distinct culture and identity from being submerged by the cultural or economic influences of other countries. In conclusion, the rising international trade has many positive influences on the global economy and world peace. However, its adverse impacts on national identities cannot be neglected.
There are conflicting views in terms of whether the growth in
global
trade activities and
cultural
interactions among
countries
is advantageous, or such development is the culprit behind the degradation of
cultural
identity
in
many
countries.

On the one hand,
many
people
think
that national
identity
can disappear if
cultural
and business bonding among
countries
are strengthened
. This is
because
the constant stream of marketing campaigns by international firms has led to the dominance of foreign eating habits and fashion trends, whereas indigenous lifestyles and
languages
become less favorable among young generations.
Therefore
, they could try to imitate those foreign
cultures
and
languages
blindly
and
change
their traditional ways of life.
Thus
,
a large number of
minority
languages
are on the edge of extinction as their
people
prefer to communicate in
widely
used
languages
like English or Chinese. Taking a look back in the history of humankind,
plenty
of distinct civilizations
are assimilated
and vanished, starting with the loss of their
own
languages.

On the other hand
, numerous individuals have a belief that the ever-increasing in cross-cultural communication and international
economic
cooperation is a beneficial process. They presume that the globalization has boosted
economic
development and created a better intercultural understanding on a
global
scale.
Firstly
, this
helps
people
all over the world
purchase
and sell products at a competitive price, which could lead to promoting productivity and improving the economy. It can
also
generate more employment opportunities for locals.
Secondly
,
culture
exchange
allows
people
to have more contacts with others from
different
cultural
backgrounds, which could eliminate misunderstandings between
countries
.
Therefore
, conflicts can be
effectively
avoided, encouraging a harmonious world.

From my point of view, both arguments are accurate reflections about the possible consequences of the growing
economic
and
cultural
interactions among nations. It boosts
economic
integration and
speeds up
modernization
but
also
creates tensions between
global
culture
and a
country’s
national
identity
.
Therefore
, we should take the initiative in fighting to protect each nation’s distinct
culture
and
identity
from
being submerged
by the
cultural
or
economic
influences of other countries.

In conclusion
, the rising international trade has
many
positive
influences on the
global
economy and world peace.
However
, its adverse impacts on national
identities
cannot
be neglected
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay: Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while other people think that other countries will lose their national identities as a result. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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