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Some people say that the government should control the amount of violent in films and on television in order to reduce violent crimes in society. To what extent to do you agree or disagree with this view? v.2

Some people say that the government should control the amount of violent in films and on television in order to reduce violent crimes in society. v. 2
The question of whether governments around the world should mitigate the risks arising due to violent crimes being shown on TV and other entertainment sources is debatable but I do believe that proper control and assessment of the violence shown in movies in necessary. In order to make sure that appropriate films are categorized and distributed to specific crowds, a control board must be set up. this will reduce the proliferation of these videos to people who might get further affected by these shows. Furthermore, some graphic scenes must be prohibited to be broadcasted to the general public. For example, in Indonesia, the governing body has banned all sorts of audio-visual entertainment which visualise obscene of unwanted images to the public. On the other hand, since movies often depict the socio-economic happenings of real life, some forms of plot regarding such stories may be displayed. In fact, it is more important for people to be aware of such happenings in the society so that they can take the correct steps as necessary. Moreover, if a person is adult, then he or she must be given the freedom to watch what they want but making sure that it does not negatively impact them. For example, Youtube, Instagram and social media has allowed individuals the independence to fabricate and upload videos as they prefer. Overall, the proliferation and ease of access to social media have made it mandatory that there must be some sort of censorship of unacceptable entertainment to be distributed. Therefore, I opine that while freedom to watch anything that the thong desires is needed but within certain limitations since this might create social problems.
The question of whether
governments
around the world should mitigate the
risks
arising due to violent crimes
being shown
on TV and other entertainment sources is debatable
but
I do believe that proper control and assessment of the violence shown in movies in necessary.

In order to
make
sure that appropriate films
are categorized
and distributed to specific crowds, a control board
must
be set
up. this will
reduce
the proliferation of these videos to
people
who might
get
further
affected
by these
shows
.
Furthermore
,
some
graphic scenes
must
be prohibited
to
be broadcasted
to the
general public
.
For example
, in Indonesia, the governing body has banned all sorts of audio-visual entertainment which
visualise
obscene of unwanted images to the public.

On the other hand
, since movies
often
depict the
socio-economic
happenings of real life,
some
forms of plot regarding such stories may
be displayed
. In fact, it is more
important
for
people
to be aware of such happenings in the society
so
that they can take the correct steps as necessary.
Moreover
, if a person is adult, then he or she
must
be
given
the freedom to
watch
what they want
but
making sure that it does not
negatively
impact them.
For example
,
Youtube
, Instagram and social media has
allowed
individuals the independence to fabricate and upload videos as they prefer.

Overall
, the proliferation and
ease
of access to social media have made it mandatory that there
must
be
some
sort of censorship of unacceptable entertainment to
be distributed
.
Therefore
, I opine that while freedom to
watch
anything that the thong desires
is needed
but
within certain limitations since this might create social problems.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the government should control the amount of violent in films and on television in order to reduce violent crimes in society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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