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Nowadays there are many medical surveys of treatments to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them, governments, individuals, or private companies, in your opinion? Give reasons of your answer and include relevant examples from your experiences. v.2

Nowadays there are many medical surveys of treatments to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them, governments, individuals, or private companies, in your opinion? Give reasons of your answer and include relevant examples from your experiences. v. 2
Medical science is a powerful weapon which can be used to run the world on a progressive track. Likewise, there is a majority of people in many countries who are facing poverty, malnutrition and many other issues which are solved with the help of medical. One of the most controversial issue today leads to that, medical treatment surveys are helping people; but who should conduct these surveys? In the upcoming paragraphs I am going to give reasons for this trend with some relevant examples and assertions according to my experiences. The first step to understand that, who can be better in conducting surveys; governments, individuals or private companies? One of the prominent reason is authorities. Similarly, government should conduct surveys as they has distinct facilities to approach people in different place either its big cities or small countryside areas. Only government is the one which has this authority to approach any type of place in there country. Although, as every individual have their personal life as well, so that will be difficult for them to leave their personal work and go to different place to access people. While its responsibility of government to help their citizens, so it will be easy for them to conduct surveys. On the other hand, the second and foremost reason is advanced doctors. As we all know that government has numerous facilities which are highly beneficial. However, there are many people who are suffering from rare diseases which are neither well know by individuals nor by private companies and due to this only government can find out about these diseases with the help of advanced doctors and cure them. A good illustration to this is, in india this is responsibility of government to conduct these type of surveys. In 2018, Hindustan times newspaper revealed that government vanished 70% of diseases from many places by conducting surveys through the help of great doctors as well. In conclusion, I tend to believe that, its significant to have all the major facilities and enough money to approach different types places for conducting surveys, whereas, government has all those features and this is the best option which can heal people effectively and efficiently.
Medical science is a powerful weapon which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to run the world on a progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
Likewise
, there is a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are facing poverty, malnutrition and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other issues which
are solved
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of medical. One of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
leads to that, medical treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conduct
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
? In the upcoming paragraphs I am going to give reasons for this trend with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant examples and assertions according to my experiences.

The
first
step to understand that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can be better in conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, individuals or private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
? One of the prominent reason is authorities.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "have", "haven"
has
distinct facilities to approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
either its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
countryside areas.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the one which has this authority to approach any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in there country. Although, as every individual have their personal life
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that will be difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their personal work and go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While its responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be easy for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conduct
surveys.

On the other hand
, the second and foremost reason
is advanced
doctors.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has numerous facilities which are
highly
beneficial.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffering from rare diseases which are neither well know by individuals nor by private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and due to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can find out about these diseases with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of advanced doctors and cure them. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration to this is, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
this is responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conduct
these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
. In 2018, Hindustan times newspaper revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
vanished 70% of diseases from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
by conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of great doctors
as well
.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
significant to have all the major facilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveys
, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has all those features and this is the best option which can heal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
effectively
and
efficiently
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays there are many medical surveys of treatments to reduce health problems. Who should conduct them, governments, individuals, or private companies, in your opinion? Give reasons of your answer and include relevant examples from your experiences. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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