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Some people believe that companies should pay for the damage they cause to the environment, while others say that the government should be responsible for such expenses. Some companies are playing an important role in our environment. The industrious compa v.2

Some people believe that companies should pay for the damage they cause to the environment, while others say that the government should be responsible for such expenses. Some companies are playing an important role in our environment. The industrious compa v. 2
Some companies are playing an important role in our environment. The industrious companies make a huge amount of environmental pollution. The companies are making a dusty or noisy environment in our society. So that the pollution rapidly growing up & the temperature of the earth. On the other hand, the government also not concerned about it. So it’s growing up day by day. While someone or a company make any industrial work or any other kind of work which make the nature injured, then natural balance are get imbalance. Then the effect is going to all over the world’s people because for the imbalance of nature the natural disaster will happen. Flood, cyclone, earthquake etc will happen for the damage of nature. Nowadays the ice of the north pole is getting melted. The company should recover the environment as well as it was before. On the other hand, the government should look after above these company who make the dusty environment and should collect fine from these company. If it isn’t done, one day the world will be flooded or become a desert. As a result, world temperature will be high and the low land countries will be sink. As opposed to the greenhouse effect has been growing up. But it is high time to solve this problem. The government should collect fine from these companies which are destroying the environment and also should rule out their licence. While a company destroy the environment for any other developing article the company should repair that because there is nothing happened for the government. So the companies should pay for these damages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The industrious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a huge amount of environmental pollution. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are making a dusty or noisy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that the pollution
rapidly
growing up
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; the temperature of the earth. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
not concerned about it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it’s growing up day by day.

While someone or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any industrial work or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kind of work which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the nature injured, then natural balance are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
imbalance. Then the effect is going to all over the world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for the imbalance of nature the natural disaster will happen. Flood, cyclone, earthquake etc will happen for the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
nature. Nowadays the ice of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
north pole
is getting melted. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should recover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as well
as it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should look after above these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the dusty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and should collect fine from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

If it isn’t done, one day the world will
be flooded
or become a desert.
As a result
, world temperature will be high and the low land countries will be
Consider using a past participle here: "sunk", "sunken".
sink
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
opposed to the greenhouse effect has been growing up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is high time to solve this problem. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should collect fine from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which are destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
also
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out their
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
.

While a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developing article the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should repair that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is nothing happened for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should pay for these damages.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that companies should pay for the damage they cause to the environment, while others say that the government should be responsible for such expenses. Some companies are playing an important role in our environment. The industrious compa v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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