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Some people say that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others insist that there should be no regulation to design buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people say that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others insist that there should be no regulation to design buildings. v. 2
Building design is now one of the most controversial issues that people like debating about. The affirmatives insist that governments play an important role in the control of structure regulation. However, the negatives say that people have right to build whatever they need. In this essay, I will address both views as well as suggest supportive ideas based on knowledge and experience. Firstly, I comprehend that the gap between the positive side and the negative side because all everyone deserve that to decorate and to construct their property. But the thing is that without basic standards are not allowed to overcrowd that' s why the law is function of regulate in a positive way. If the governments let all companies build their needs, big cities may well surrounded by congestion with huge population. Secondly, some people occupy other' s private property in order to construct their benefits. In this case, we should restrict everything by law. Some regulation is needed for peace because of the situation unless it should not go too far. Thirdly, one of my relatives were planning to buy an apartment for investment. After that, the apt price was fluctuated by the right of view. The apartment was planning to make surrounded by spectacular landscape, but the corporate had changed their plan without any notice to tenant. The company said government did not give permission to build. There were some reasons that if the building was built as soon as they can. Also, the gap between other buildings could be cramped so it caused private invasion. In conclusion, governments affect constantly numerous effects on market price such as real estate. So governments and dweller should work together to make new regulation. Because it is very sensitive problem between private and public.
Building design is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the most controversial issues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like debating about. The affirmatives insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the control of structure regulation.
However
, the negatives say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have right to build whatever they need. In this essay, I will address both views
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
suggest supportive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
based on knowledge and experience.

Firstly
, I comprehend that the gap between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "deserves", "deserved".
deserve
that to decorate and to construct their property.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the thing is that without basic standards are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to overcrowd
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s why the law is function of regulate in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
build their needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities may well surrounded by congestion with huge population.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
occupy
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s private property in order to construct their benefits.
In this case
, we should restrict everything by law.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
regulation
is needed
for peace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the situation unless it should not go too far.

Thirdly
, one of my relatives were planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an apartment for investment. After that, the apt price
was fluctuated
by the right of view. The apartment was planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
surrounded by spectacular landscape,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the corporate had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their plan without any notice to tenant. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
did not give permission to build. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that if the building
was built
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can.
Also
, the gap between other buildings could
be cramped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it caused private invasion.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
affect
constantly
numerous effects on market price such as real estate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and dweller should work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new regulation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive problem between private and public.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others insist that there should be no regulation to design buildings. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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