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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？Nowadays it is not important for people to have regularly family meals together. v.1

？Nowadays it is not important for people to have regularly family meals together. v. 1
Nowadays, Having less chances to eat with family members seems to be an increasingly widespread problem. Because of business errands and dinner with customers, Dad or Mom don’t have time to be with other people in the family, which cause the absence of family meals. Many are of the opinion that having meals with families regularly is significant, while others maintain the idea that it is unnecessary for people to spend time eating with their families. I personally believe that we should have meals with families sometimes, for many important reasons. To begin with, one of my reason is that children can communicate with their parents and share what they experienced recently. For example, parents are the key stone to the family, they have to work diligently in order to get more money for both their family and children. Due to the pressure that comes from their work, they might become depressed and tired. By talking with other family members, they can ease the pain of troubles that they have. And children could share some of the good stories that will soothe their parents’ mind. In addition, children also have some problems during their daily life, such as the difficulties from their coursework and arguments with their friends. In this case, parents could offer some advice while having conversations with their kids. Another reason for the importance of having family meals is that parents need to be familiar with their children and have a better plan on diet. What that means is, parents should prepared for what the kids needs to eat and what they likes. By doing so, children will keep getting nutrition that needed for growth while eat in a good mood. If parents just provide their kids with money and being unaware of what they’re eating, it would lead to some bad results. For instance, children will spend money on junk foods that are oily and unhealthy for them. As they eat more and more, they’ll learn bad habits and even get into some serious diseases. As a result, parents would be regretted due to the fact that they are responsible for this. To conclude, this essay discussed that family meals are essential for two reasons: sharing experiences and feelings; planning a good diet for children. The evidence presented in this assignment has shown that eating with families is important, especially for child.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members seems to be an
increasingly
widespread problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of business errands and dinner with customers, Dad or Mom don’t have time to be with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which cause the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
regularly
is significant, while others maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is unnecessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to spend time eating with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. I
personally
believe that we should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of my reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and share what they experienced recently.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the key stone to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
diligently
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more money for both their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Due to the pressure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their work, they might become depressed and tired. By talking with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the pain of troubles that they have. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could share
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stories that will soothe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
mind.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems during their daily life, such as the difficulties from their coursework and arguments with their friends.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
conversations with their kids.

Another reason for the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to be familiar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and have a better plan on diet. What that means is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "prepare"
prepared
for what the kids
You should probably use "need".
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
and what they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "like"
likes
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
getting nutrition that needed for growth while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provide their kids with money and being unaware of what they’re eating, it would lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will spend money on junk foods that are oily and unhealthy for them. As they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
more and more, they’ll learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
be regretted
due to the fact that they are responsible for this.

To conclude
, this essay discussed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are essential for two reasons: sharing experiences and feelings; planning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The evidence presented in this assignment has shown that eating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
especially
for child.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay ？Nowadays it is not important for people to have regularly family meals together. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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