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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 2
It is thought by some people that television can be used for education, whereas other people say that television is useful for entertainment purpose. I believe that television is useful for both education and entertainment field. On the one hand, television might have several advantages regarding educational field. The first benefit is that television will provide vast knowledge about many things in people’s life. It is extremely clear that through television, people can obtain much useful information. For instance, people can find out about various cultures in many countries in the world as it is shown through the program on television. Another benefit is that television can affect people’s behaviour for doing the positive action. This means that people are able to be persuaded for doing useful things. For instance, through television government can spread the campaign about how to wash the hand appropriately. As a result, it is easier for people to practice the method through the campaign on the television. On the other hand, there are some benefits of television as entertainment tool. The main benefit is that television can be used to release the stress from the hectic day. In order to get a relaxation, many people choose to spend their time by watching various program on the television, such as comedy program. Secondly, television is beneficial to strengthen relationship among family members. Watching television is one of the favourite leisure activities for many families in the world. By watching television, family members are able to gather and communicate directly. Consequently, their relationship will be engaged tightly. In my opinion, television is useful for both education and entertainment purpose and it can be adjusted to people’s need. For instance, television has an educational program that is suitable for the children’s age. Moreover, adult tend to watch comedy and drama program in order to release tension from the busy day. In conclusion, some people convince that television is useful for education due to some benefits, including providing knowledge and affecting people’s behaviour in a positive way. However, other people thought television is advantageous for entertainment, such as releasing stress and strengthening the relationship in families.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for entertainment purpose. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and entertainment field.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
might have several advantages regarding educational field. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will provide vast knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life. It is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can obtain much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
information.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find out about various cultures in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the world as it
is shown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
for doing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
action. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
be persuaded
for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
things.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can spread the campaign about how to wash the hand
appropriately
.
As a result
, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to practice the method
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the campaign on the television.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as entertainment tool. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to release the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the hectic day. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a relaxation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to spend their time by watching various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, such as comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is beneficial to strengthen relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is one of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
leisure activities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the world. By watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are able to gather and communicate
directly
.
Consequently
, their relationship will
be engaged
tightly
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and entertainment purpose and it can
be adjusted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
need.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has an educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
that is
suitable for the children’s age.
Moreover
, adult tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
comedy and drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
in order to release tension from the busy day.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
convince that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, including providing knowledge and affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is advantageous for entertainment, such as releasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and strengthening the relationship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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